Definitions

You may want to redefine or reinvent yourself at the urging of a personal coach, or boss at work. But if you want to redefine days, here are some possibilities-

Valentine's Day- When you are acutely made aware of the lack of a Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Rakshabandhan- Likewise (see above)

Republic Day- When planes fly, but not over the airport

Teachers' Day- When you remember those who gave you an A

Student's Day- When you get an A

Labour Day- When you curse the management for not paying you more

Management Day- When you vent about the labour slacking off

Facebooker's Day- When you get more likes than expected

Blogger's Day- When people read your blog, and even comment on it

Neighbour's Day- When your neighbour smiles back at you

 

Compassion Day? You must be Joking

What is this with 'Days' ? It was fine when limited to Valentine's Day, which we fell in love with, as did card and chocolate companies. But Compassion Day? What gives, here?

When you run out of compassion, (Jab passion kam ho jaye) what will it be? Here are random thoughts-might land a consulting job with a card company one day.

Dhoortta Diwas- Cleverness Day, but don't you try to be too clever!

Moorkhta Diwas-Foolishness Day. Well, we'll find a way to differentiate it from April Fool's Day. After all, they say a fool is born every minute.

Anokha Abhiyaan Diwas - Do Something Different Day. You must not do anything that you did on the previous day, except of course, the essentials.

Rant Against the Boss Day- This if done every day, increases your stress levels. So do it vigorously only on this day. You can send him a rose like Munnabhai sent to his foes.

Love Thy Enemy Day. Before this would be Make a New Enemy Day, so that you can learn to love him later on.

Purse Your Lips Day- This will help all husbands if they can get their wives to follow the spirit of this day. Also, students can persuade their profs not to lecture them-at least on this day. What a relief to a large section of the population it would be.

No Facebook Day. Difficult to implement, but innovative. Maybe in cahoots with the power company, you can remove the power supply to achieve this.

No Rajnikant Jokes Day. Almost impossible, but what the heck! We need 365 of these to sell our cards, remember?

Boxing Day

Why this singling out of one sport to the detriment of others? What crime have they committed to be excluded from having a Day of their own? I hereby modify the List of Holidays to include the following-

1. Match fixing day for cricket. The anniversary of the first match fixed will be celebrated on this day, every year. The movie on match-fixing (Jannat) will be screened to celebrate the event. Speeches from invited celebrities accused of fixing matches will be a highlight.

2. World Hooliganism Day for English Football. Hooligans of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but A FEW TEETH. Knock them out, guys!

3. F-1 Day. This is not a cuss-word, but about the motor-sport where adults drive things that should be logically driven by kids, at speeds that can kill- and do! Celebrations are in order, what?

4. Archery Day. How can we forget the (blood) sport that won so many wars before Mr. Nobel's invention of gunpowder (or was it dynamite?) that put it to shade?

5. Doper's Day for all the athletes who ever took dope to win a sporting (?) event. What a way to compete. Thank you for showing us THE WAY. The coaches who encouraged them would be honoured too.

6. Sailor's Day. Not many know what sailors do, because frequently, they sail into troubled waters and are never seen again. But we must give a chance to those who do return, to have their Day!

7. Golfing Day. Everyone needs to salute the greatest game ever invented (sorry for filching the phrase from Sholay promos). Golf widows should be made chief guests and given a chance to swing a golf club at their so-called husbands. This was so well demonstrated by Tiger's wife, for a different reason. Just do it!

8. Tennis Day. I used to watch Tennis in my younger days. I can at least figure out what's happening, if this day is celebrated, once a year.

9. Badminton Day. This will be exclusive to the countries which subscribe to Michael Jackson's anthem- I'm BAD. Mostly, these are Asian countries, with one shining exception- Denmark.

10. Finally, for patriotic reasons, we MUST have a Gilli-danda Day. Otherwise, what will all the nationalists think? We can't allow FDI (Foreign Dominated Indian) sports, can we?