My Youtube Foray - Chat Masala

 Trying out something new, thanks to persuasion from Sheetal Garg, a friend, and Prarthana, my daughter no. 1. A series of 10-15 minute videos on a variety of topics. Some guest episodes and some my own. Three have been published so far, and some guest episodes too, with Bhagyalakshmi Venkatesh, covering her views on Happiness and with Sheetal Garg, about music and friendship. Also one with Anjali Paruvu, about education in the Humanities. Mine are related to Hindi films, actors and domestic travel. More will follow. Shot and edited by Prarthana, with help from Pooja, daughter no. 2.

The links to existing episodes, in case you want to watch them.. a playlist.

https://youtu.be/1Ey5BlUQI7k - Episode 1- Hindi Films

https://youtu.be/x4drlX8nQh8  - Episode 2. Favourite heroes from Films

https://youtu.be/wNwMxUqIW9M  - the guest episode on Happiness

https://youtu.be/qQLyLUyzllw -Travel destinations in India

https://youtu.be/DhHVQvrFUS4  - Guest episode on Humanities and AI.

https://youtu.be/LoEq7-S2NpY   - Guest episode on Music and Friendship

Chat Masala - My Youtube Channel

 So far, we have published 3 episodes. If you want to watch them, the links are

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNwMxUqIW9M for the Happiness episode

https://youtu.be/x4drlX8nQh8  the second is about my favourite heroes from films

https://youtu.be/1Ey5BlUQI7k the first, is about why I like Hindi films.

Comedians as Heads of State

 Seriously (!), it's not such a bad idea. We already have the Ukrainian Prez., the Punjab C.M. and in the past, Trump and Bush (OK, not officially comics, but you know what I mean).. and a bunch of dictators all over the world, who were extremely funny when they weren't executing people randomly. Let's be rational, and list down the benefits of having a funnyman/woman in the top job.

Humour is in short supply, with all the WhatsApp wars going on about your favourite politician, cricketer, or Football player (nod to American football too). 

Most governmental decisions are funny, to the discerning eye. 

The Happiness Quotient of a nation is something to preserve and expand.

Comedians in Hindi films are extinct - with all the special effects, and superheroes, who has the time to think of a comedy track like the guy who says 'Khamba ukhaad ke,' the sidekick to Gunmaster G 9 (Mithun C.) played by Jagdeep?

The bureaucrats run the show anyway, regardless of the party in power (as Yes, Minister proved so well), so might as well have fun with a funny guy/gal up there.

No, I am not contesting.. not funny enough for the job.

Forgetfully Yours

 Ok, before I forget what I wanted to write about, this is about a book that I just got, and have almost finished reading. 

Many good points the author makes- it's called The Almanack of Naval Ravikant. The author is someone else. But he-Naval- is a real guy who tweets, blogs and gives interviews. An Indian immigrant to the U.S.

" Doctors won’t make you healthy. Nutritionists won’t make you slim. Teachers won’t make you smart. Gurus won’t make you calm. Mentors won’t make you rich. Trainers won’t make you fit. Ultimately, you have to take responsibility. Save yourself. " 

One of many nice quotes. Another one goes something like "No one can beat you at being you." Advocating authenticity.

"Decision-making is everything," (not an exact quote) according to another pointer from the book. 

Read the book if you want more. It's also available free online I believe. 

ATH- Any Time Happiness

 If you have ever passed by a slum, you may have spotted happy kids, or even adults. I see happy people almost anywhere, on the streets, even the homeless, or extremely non-well to do people. So it should be obvious that happiness has little to do with material possessions, or your bank balance. It is possible to be happy, anytime, any place.

So why aren't we? Having aspirations is a good thing, it motivates you to do something. But if one can aspire without jealousy, it may be a happier state. You want to better yourself or your condition, but not compare with others while doing so. Unfortunately parents and teachers are always comparing. This can only lead to a false sense of superiority in some, and inferiority in others. 

I am afraid marketers are to be blamed too. The ads are also trying to give you quick-fixes to (mostly) non-existent problems. Deos, Face-washes and Fairness creams (or whatever they are now called). And many more categories of products. They are not-so-subtly telling you that you are not good enough (except Preity Zinta's husband, nobody is!). That if you buy me, you'll be OK. A recipe for unhappiness.

Since learning to ignore wrong advice from parents, teachers and ads is tough, most of us remain unhappy most of the time. 

Hell and Heaven

 Man is not too happy about where he is, usually. He wants to go somewhere, usually to Heaven. It's a different matter that he may end up in Hell in most cases, if these two institutions actually exist.

But the point is, even if they do exist, why the urge/hurry to meet the Maker? Why not be happy where you are, and make the most of a life-after all, you are not an insect, or a worm...and even they have some choices about what they want to do. 

If you want to create Heaven around you, first thing to do is to be happy yourself. This may sound paradoxical, as people think you become happy by going there. I would argue the reverse. Because if you are happy, it causes happiness around in most cases. People around you smiling makes for heaven right here, where you are.

And material circumstances may not matter too much in this thing. I have seen happy people everywhere-from vegetable vendors pushing a cart to kids playing in the dirt or diving into a lake or river or a rain puddle with abandon. Blaming something/someone for what you don't like is easily done, but does not get you anywhere. Change things if you can. If not, change yourself. Like yourself. Be happy. That's all there is to it.

Anopheles in 2015

Anopheles, my winged friend sailed in without a fuss, and started a conversation as if we had met yesterday-in fact, it had been several months since we had met.

How are you doing? she said easily.

I am fine. How about you? I asked back.

Not too bad. But I must say, this business of kids growing up gets my goat at times, she confessed.

Why? I pretended innocence.

Well, they want so many things. A good training, a palatial home, and no interference from us parents, she said.

And the latest gadgets? I added, questioningly.

And all the latest gadgets, she acquiesced. For work and for play. 

I said, "Don't worry too much about it. It's just a phase. We go through it here in our world too."

She turned to me and said, "What's up in your world?"

I said, "It's more WhatsApp than What's up."

"And what's that?" she wanted to know.

I explained, "It's an app- life these days runs on apps-applications, I mean. We want a cab, there's an app for it. If we are hungry, the pizza company's app helps. If we want a doctor, there's a medical app. If we want to exercise, another one keeps tabs on how many kilometres we have walked, and tells us the blood pressure at all times, before, during and after. This one's a communication app."

"And all these apps make you happier?" she asked.

"Well, I'll need an App to answer that," I joked. "The art of conversation is close to dead. If it's alive, it's only because some women still like to chat the old-fashioned way." I couldn't tell whether that remark made her happy or not. But I went into a reverie of sorts, imagining what kind of an App could produce H 'app'iness in humans -or even mosquitoes. For now, we said our goodbyes happily, and decided to meet more often, and exchange notes.

Anopheles Makes a Surprise Visit

Anopheles and Me

For those who have lost the plot ..err, haven't been following the plot, Anopheles is a female mosquito who drops in on me to have a chat once in a while. We have had conversations on every topic in the world- theirs and ours. I had not seen her in a while, and it was a pleasant surprise to hear her buzz into my room.

"What is a war?" she asked without a preamble.
"Well, it is a situation in which we kill each other." I tried.
"But why do you kill each other?" she wasn't satisfied, as I was afraid she wouldn't.

"Some of us want to expand our kingdoms" I said, thinking of Alexander the Great.
"Are large kingdoms necessary for a king to be happy?"she innocently asked.
"I can't say, I never had one" I told her.

"So what's your poison?" she queried.
"Mine, I guess, is the ego. Without the achievements to accompany the desire, I want people to tell me I am great. This is a failing of the human race, not mine alone." I rationalised.
"And that makes you happy?"
"Temporarily, yes. But not for too long. I want a new toy after a while, because the old one ceases to tickle."I tried explaining.

"Could this ego, as you call it, also be the cause of some of the wars that I hear you keep having regularly?"she persisted.
I thought about Bush and his random wars on terror, Iraq versus Kuwait, Iran-Iraq, Vietnam, Korea, and all the others.
"I suppose so, at least many of the wars were ego-based," I had to conclude.
"But tell me, why are you in a war-like mood today?"I tried levity, in a bid to lighten the conversation.
"Because my kid whom I raised so lovingly, fought with me over a trivial issue and flew away from home,"she confided.

"Oh, my," I thought. Their world is not so different after all. And tried consoling her with some soothing words that helped her calm down. She promised to wait a day or two hoping he would return, and bid goodbye.

Happy New Year- The Film Review That Wasn't

Like 'The Week That Wasn't', a spoof of the news during the week, let me attempt a review of a movie I did not watch.

Shah Rukh Khan dances his way into the audience's heart, matching steps with Abhishek Bachchan. Two of the best dancers ever!

Abhishek Bachchan does a fight, a disco, a comedy sequence, and a tragi-comedy sequence. That's more than he has done in years. Happy or not!

Farah Khan directs. She was great in Main Hoon Na (disclaimer- I saw that), greater in the last one (I forget the name of that one) and is the GREATEST in this one.

The producer is laughing all the way to the bank. So some people are happy-the bank and him. What about the viewers? Some people called me up just to tell me NOT to watch this and remain happy. What could be simpler? Forget Yoga, Meditation (Vipassana, the silent meditation, is especially hard on the incorrigible talkers), Reading, Music, Partying with friends, Long holidays in the mountains or at a beach, and all those things which cost a bomb. Just chill, and Don't watch a film! Can't get easier than this, the new Happiness recipe.

Happy New Year! Oh, oh, did you say you just watched it? :) :)

I Think.....

I decided that I would write a thoughtful blog. Therefore, I sat down to think. The only problem is, whenever you decide to do something, that something eludes you. So the thoughts which otherwise run riot, ebbed to a trickle, and after a bit, completely vanished.

So then I decided I will write something thoughtless. And promptly, my thought process was back where it used to be-on track. I now have a wealth of thoughts on conventional wisdom, and what it does to all of us. Will share a few.

Conventional wisdom says that we have to grow up. That childhood and its glory are at best ephemeral, with a life of a few years. Grown up life is the majority of our life. The impact of this is that there are too many grown-ups, acting, well...grown-up, all around. And the wars and the competition grows by the day, and innocence and fun are hard to come by.

Conventional wisdom tells us that one must categorise people- by the clothes they wear, the cars they drive (or whether they do) how they smell, how well-groomed they are, by their skin colour, by the amount of degrees they accumulate, or their accent. This deprives us of some valuable interactions that can teach us a lot about life. And in the worst case, results in hate crimes.

Conventional wisdom says that you must be loyal to any member of your family, even at a cost to the non-family members of society. A lot of times, this results in nepotism, and a loss of meritocracy and a possible fall in living standards of society as a whole.

Conventional wisdom says that one must put up a show for the outside world, in terms of achievements, material or otherwise. This may result in losing sight of inner happiness, and a loss of peace. Not to mention indebtedness through spending beyond your means.

Coefficient of Happiness

I am not even sure what a coefficient is, but no matter. I will still propound (I know what THAT is) a hypothetical equation where happiness is equated in an equation to various things which have coefficients (I didn't say I can't use coefficients, did I?)

Happiness = x*Necessities of life (food, around 2000 calories a day, 2 pairs of clothes, some detergent, minimal housing, money to buy maybe 2 or 3 pizzas in a year, a transistor radio) + y*Free indulgences that you can have such as conversations with friends including on fb or mail chat, walks with anyone you like to or alone, laughter, staring into the sea, mountain or plains, listening to bird sounds, or to free music + z*(inexpensive indulgences like a cup of chai/tea/coffee or beverages of choice and a samosa, an occasional game of golf played with friends) + a * (very expensive indulgences like a house in Florida or a single malt everyday or your own golf course or a Ferrari...you get the drift)

Now, my hypothesis is that if you have an internet connection even from a cybercafe, the value of x could be 1. y might be of the order of 25, z may take on a value of 10, and 'a' might have a value of 5.

My point is that items no. 2 and 3 in the equation, of which y and z are the coefficients, are probably easily attainable and give us plenty of happiness on a daily basis. x being a 'necessity' coefficient, is a multiplier of things necessary but not making you happy or motivated. But happiness is not far if you seek to maximise y and z, rather than a and z. If you can add interesting work that you like, it has the potential to be in category 2 where you also get money.

Have I made some wrong assumptions?

Indexes for Personal Life

Indexes like the Stock Market and Wholesale Price/Consumer Price are critical to a man's well-being. But why stop there? I have developed the following indexes (patents pending) for helping measuring your own well-being. No, it's Ok. You don't have to thank me.

Health Index: Inverse of the No. of antibiotics you popped in the last six months, plus inverse of the no. of doc visits in the last six months

Relationships Index: No. of ships of various kinds that you are into, minus those that you are out of

Relative-control Index: (No. of relatives in close proximity with micro-level hyper control syndrome) to the power of 'N', where N is the no. of such relatives

Happiness Index: Average No. of  likes on your last five facebook statuses and/or cover photos, added to the blog viewership of your last ten blog posts, minus no. of real meetings with your friends.

Unhappiness Index: No. of scheming mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, shouting news anchors, experts on TV debates, repairmen of any kind that you encountered in the last 24 hours, all added together. Add 20 points to this if you watched Himesh Reshamiya on the small screen.

Kejriwal Index- Closely related to the above. Number of times you watched Kejriwal's antics on TV. This is independently capable of causing Unhappiness or Mirth depending on how you look at it.

Khushwant Singh - A Tribute

This is a re-posting of one I had written about him, around 2 years ago, after reading his book on happiness. He passed away at age 99 yesterday.

Khushwant Singh, one of India's most entertaining writers, has written about almost everything in his long years as a journalist, editor, column writer (with Malice Towards All) etc. His light bulb logo was designed by Mario Miranda, the famous cartoonist. The Illustrated Weekly was very lively in his days as the editor. I respect him because he made a living from writing- a tough thing to do.

His take on happiness (or what I remember of it) is somewhat like this-

Earn enough to help yourself. Mendicants may or may not be happy.

Learn to live in solitude. Not in the Himalayas necessarily, but have significant time for yourself.

Make use of the time you have. Mostly, we spend a lot of time cribbing about (the time and much else) we don't have.

Don't waste time on parties and celebrities (and IPL- which might be fixed anyway).

Reduce the irritants in life-we may have lots of them, like unwanted phone calls, credit cards, visits from people who have nothing positive to share or teach us, ...ad infinitum.

Following from the above, indulge in things you like to do, so that you get better at them. And naturally enjoy life.

I would add- play a sport (preferably golf, but anything is Ok), play with children. Listen to music. 

Happiness and Productivity- What is the Correlation?

I am into correlations for the moment. Commonly accepted wisdom in Human Resources Management says that a happy employee performs better, is more productive, etc..

Is that necessarily true? I was unhappy and good at my studies in school. Many sales managers (and other managers) increasingly ill-treat, mistreat, and abuse their subordinates into performing or being more productive. Usually, they succeed.

The contingency theory of leadership claims that leadership style should change according to the type of subordinates and the context. China today produces goods at a lower cost than mot people in the world. Are their workers happier? I don't know, because I never heard of worker satisfaction surveys in China. Not sure if these are permitted under their system.

The question simply is this- is happiness of the employee at work over-rated? Now that I have provoked you, let us hear from you readers.

Random Diwali Thoughts 2013

The small plane is more fun to fly in than the big one. The Wright brothers had the most fun.

The Chinese are better at making Diwali stuff for the masses than India- fact of life. And a few other things, like furniture that guys want to buy.

There is no whiskey like the single malts- some of them, at least. My list would include most Islay malts, and Glenfiddich.

Food tastes divine when you are hungry. This is akin to the words of the great Confucius ( a man with a misleading name) who apparently said, "When hungry, eat. When sleepy, sleep." I agree.

What makes for a great movie is the edit. Mostly, it has to do with removing the unnecessary.

There is no greater happiness than friends, family  and nature. Everything else is a burden which we carry.

New Happiness Measures

No half-measures allowed. Happiness is too important to be left to the unhappy. So here we go, acquainting the world with these brand new measures of the big 'H'. Get ready to measure and be happy.

1. How long the batteries last. If your laptop and mobile batteries last longer than the next guy, you are, by definition, happier...than him or her.

2. Muscles/square inches of body in case of boyfriends. If you are a girl.

3. Beauty/square inches of body for girlfriends, if you are a guy.

4. Furniture/square inches of home space if you are a 'settled' female.

5. Amount of beer/other liquids per square inch of home space if you are a 'settled' guy.

6. Number of facebook friends you have, if you are 'settled' or not, man or woman. This is non-discriminatory, and totally democratic, unlike 150 countries in the world.

7. Number of biryanis you cumulatively ate in a lifetime, if you are a Hyderabadi. Pseudo-biryanis to be deducted from the total.

8. Irani chais, ditto.

9. Number of commuters you abused, if you are a Delhi wala driver-male.

10. Number of item numbers you managed in a year, if you are a female actor, even a lead one.

Correlates of Happiness

Shared from a BBC News Report which is based on a University of Rotterdam study - comments are mine.

Studies collated by the database say you tend to be happier if you:

• Are in a long-term relationship- 25 and counting!

• Are actively engaged in politics- I wish i'd thought of this.

• Are active in work and in your free time

• Go out for dinner- I am going out today.

• Have close friendships (though happiness does not increase with the number of friends you have). 1500 on Facebook and fifteen in real life.

And there are some surprising findings:

• People who drink in moderation are happier than people who don't drink at all.- Thums Up!

• Men tend to be happier in a society where women enjoy greater equality. I doubt this.

• Being considered good looking increases men's happiness more than it does women's. Who's complaining?

• You tend to be happier if you think you're good looking, rather than if you actually, objectively speaking, are. Easy to do! Will follow this diligently!

• Having children lowers your happiness levels, but your happiness increases when they grow up and leave home. Yipee. They are grown up!

Formula for Happiness

Formulas galore are offered for you to be fit, healthy, happy, live the rest of your life in Nirvana. I thought I could try and become another in the long line of philosophers. Difference is, my formula is easy to use, and 100% guaranteed. Others may say that, but this actually will work.

Set aside 5 minutes to think what makes you happy. Regardless of what you thought, do the following.

1. Take 15 minutes a day and drink your favourite beverage (it could be carrot juice, coffee, or single malt).

2. Take another 30 minutes and listen to your favourite music- disco, ghazal, whatever.

3. Read at least 10 pages from a nice book (not the happiness formula books)- won't take more than 20 minutes. If you are down and out, read humour, preferably. Or else, anything. James Hadley Chase is not forbidden. Nothing is.

4. Walk and if you like to, add a golf club to your walk. If not, still walk with some greenery around.

5. Eat one of the following without fail everyday.. Chocolate (particularly if you are a female), bhutta, pani-puri, vada pao, pav-bhaji, pakodas.

Guaranteed to keep you happy as long as you have teeth (to eat the items in no.5). Have a great day-everyday.

I Want to be Accredited

We at IMT are going through the process of accreditation by AACSB, a premier agency which does that for B schools. This one is for the Ghaziabad campus. And what it does is it forces you to look at all your goals, processes, and outcomes, and also what you do about them.

But my quest is for an accreditation for myself. I think that is a quest for self-discovery. Boring, universal questions like Who am I and What am I Doing on the planet are passe. But What am I, or what should I do for the rest of my time here, and how, can be rather interesting questions to answer. So can I get some volunteers to accredit me? Maybe for a small fee, like a night out with a drink and a movie? Or a barter, that I will do unto them what they will do unto me.

I need answers to just a few Qs.

What am I doing well? Not well?

How do I bring in continuous improvement and Total Quality Management to my life? (the Japs did it in Toyota, I know, but I am talking more important stiuff than a mere automobile here).

How do I measure my Happiness Quotient.

This is a small but important list. Yours might be different.

I think we could (at least I could) benefit from an accreditation agency- or a person.

Theory of Relativity 2012

It's been a while since Einstein posited his theory. So I thought about taking a crack at it. May not get a chance again  if the world ends in 2012. So here it is.

The mass of a human being is directly proportional to the amount of happiness he/she experiences. Or, in simpler English, the rolier or polier you are, the happier you are. Or rather, its reverse.

Want proof?  Look around you. All the sad sacks would be wafer thin, not having had wafers- or anything at   all-  for a while. And then look at the roly-poly types. Chances are, they would be tucking into something yummy. And feeling chirpy, laughing a lot.

You may now argue that diet experts advise you to cut the calories, ...blah, blah..but the point is, what do they know of happiness, who are always living in a narrow world with small visions. If they were to expand (their vision, and maybe girth) they would gladly abandon their own advise.