CBS and NBC Evening News

 Among programs we watched, 30 minutes of Evening News on the major channels were two. The anchors were pretty good, but the news was hardly global. Asia was barely mentioned. Africa, almost never. Australia, likewise. You guessed it. It was America-centric, with Mexico, Panama (!!) taking centre-stage, along with Nicaragua and sometimes, Cuba. That was it.

Tom Brokaw and Dan rather were the anchors, and did a decent job of what the editors gave them- the delivery. 

Other programs we watched included The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, who had a slew of guests of all kinds, including celebrities and others. His initial monologue was usually fun, poking fun at Presidents, Vice Presidents and everyone who could be targeted.

Subscriptions

 Newspapers, magazines,...

In the good old days, newspapers were the main source of detailed news. Radio might have been the medium for quick updates or crisis situations. Then TV came, and these two took a backseat.

Now, even TV has had to bow to online news updates that are on 24x7. I remember going to CNN studios for a tour in Atlanta. Ted Turner had started this new channel, with news all round the day and night. It was quite a hit in the US, and later went around the world.

Newspapers, the print variety, still have some takers. But in the West, many are struggling. Magazines which were iconic have shut their print versions, or all versions. National Geographic is the latest to announce it. Before that, MAD magazine did.

I once worked for an ad agency that was a part of the Living Media group, publishers of India Today, and a couple of other magazines- Bombay and Computers Today. 

News stands selling magazines are also few and far between today. Changing times..

Headlines and News

 There is a constant hunger among media, particularly TV news channels, for the criminal, the negative or the bizarre. An adage goes, "It's not news if a dog bites a man. It's news if a man bites a dog." I also think many media don't spend enough money on their sources or their journalists to send them to cover anything new or different. 

The upshot is that most news is negative, made worse by ill-conceived "debates" on many channels. They are mostly shouting matches with pre-conceived views on all sides, including the anchor's. The viewer (if any) stands to gain little for his time.

Not surprisingly, many people have just given up, and only watch content from OTT channels. But they probably lose out on what awareness could have been built. Newspapers still do a halfway decent job of presenting some news and views. But they have lost readership among younger people.

Not sure how the fourth pillar of a democracy is going to lead us in the future. Hoping it does its job, unless bought out by some political party or the other.

The News

 This is based on a survey of around 5 English news channels- three international, and two national.

Afghanistan, Ethiopia and Nigeria are the major countries in the world. Myanmar comes fourth, when there are protests. Kidnappings or protests that turn violent pushes your country up a notch. Palestine and Israel replace Myanmar, when they have fireworks.

The only news is bad news, with very rare exceptions. Fear-mongering is a part, about Mucor..whatever, the Third Wave, and impending doom, in general. Businesses closing down are news, but not those that are booming in the pandemic.

Travel shows and cookery shows are most popular, but they are not on news channels.

Political violence or killings are very important news, because they never happened before in the history of mankind.

Who took oath as what is news. What they did after that is not. Every word spoken by a small time politician is more important than what an artist, a scientist or a common man speaks, if you go by time allocations. 

Anopheles and Our Media

 Anopheles came back into reckoning, when she confronted me the other day. It was a quiet evening, but only because my TV was off. Still, she had somehow caught a whiff of the news playing on it the last few weeks. 

As soon as she flew in, she asked pertinently- "Who is Rhea? " 

I said, as truthfully, based on news that was floating around, "She's something like a Black Widow who can do black magic." That threw her off, just a  bit. "What do you mean," she said?

I said, "Well, she can cast a spell from some distance, and make people do something they don't want to."

Anopheles said, "Like what?"

"Anything, you name it." 

"Can she make you dance?" Anopheles knew my shortcomings too well. 

"No, except that, she can do almost anything. She can make you disappear in a jiffy, if she wanted."

"Well, those must be prized skills. Why don't you guys use them to get rid of this cheeky virus that's stopped your world?"

"I think we like the Work From Home idea too much -we'd have to go to office, and drink the horrible canteen chai." I tried frivolity. (my speciality)

"Ha, ha. Don't forget, we can bite you more often at home." She was equal to the task. "But tell me, who is this Rajput guy she hung around with?"

"I really don't know too much. He was an actor, and he was from Bihar- an engineer too, I believe."

"That's depressing." That word triggered something. 

"He was also in a depression," I said. Don't you have such diseases in the mosquito world?

"Certainly not. We are quite busy doing something all the time. And we don't live in the make-believe world like some of you seem to.." with that stinging reply, she flew off to be with her REAL WORLD, leaving me to believe whatever it was that I wanted to..

Earth-shaking News

We all are governed by what happens around us, so we badly need to know-

How many shirts Salman Khan owns. And if he does own some, why is there a perpetual shortage?

Did Sonam Kapoor sneeze before her first shot for her new film?

How many hours Modi sleeps in a day.

What Jackie Chan plans to write in his Will.

How much Bill Gates earns.

How Anushka will react to RCB losing out.

What was the raise that all the CEOs of India's biggest companies got.

What the latest report says about the impact of wine consumption on our heart.

Whether Kangana sent emails on behalf of Hrithik or did he, on hers? Or was it that Wikileaks guy playing a prank on both?

Our next meal depends on it. For the tadka.

The Importance of being G

These ruminations are to prove that G is probably the most important letter in the alphabet. Wanna bet?

1. A lot of positivity comes out of words that start with a G- Good to Great.

2. Very commonly used term in Lucknow, U.P. is G Haan. In Delhi, or Punjab, it is turned around to Haan G, but still contains the all important letter.

3. Important dialogues in films start with the word Gaonwalon, like in Sholay. Used by Gabbar (G again) and Dharmendra on the water-tank.

4. Important countries of the world (those whose currency does not depreciate) are called G-10 nations.

5. GDP is a measure of how well you are doing, except in Bhutan, where only happiness is measured. Poor souls.

6. India's answer to James Bond, Mithun, went by the name Gunmaster G-9. Not F-9 or B-9. Even the cult movie on campuses is Gunday, starring him.

7. An often-used gaali (honourable term of address) in Hindi is Gadhey...

8. Ghotala, the Hindi word for scandal, also begins with a G. Where would news channels be without these?

9. Ganga and Godavari, two of our most important rivers, are G rivers.

Above all, two words that drive the spiritual, and the corporate sports-world start with a G-

10. God, and

11. Golf.

I rest my case.

Stock Market Crash

It appears there is a stock market crash in most major world markets today. It includes India, the U.S. and others such as Hong Kong and of course, the root cause of all these-China.

I do understand that stock markets are meant to go up and down-if not, they would not be markets. But China has managed to spook the world markets almost as much as Greece did a few weeks/months ago, almost single-handedly. I now feel that the house of cards that is the exchange market is also going to collapse one day, given that no one seems to understand the true worth of a national currency any more. If the currency is low, it is with an agenda in mind-usually the agenda is cheaper exports. But if everyone devalues their currency, who are they going to export to? It should even out in the end, assuming all are playing that game.

The answer may be the U.S., which usually does not end up devaluing the dollar so much, as all the devaluers expect the dollar to remain strong (if they are to remain weak) and the U.S. to increase imports of their goods (or services). Like all games we play, this has to show its true colours and reach an end game too. So let's wait and watch what happens. Another effect of this is that the Economic News channels are suddenly beating the TRP of Friends re-runs and Big Bang Theory.

The News

A typical news show.

Anchor: This is breaking news. We bring you news like you have never seen it. Three die in a train accident in Jamungaon. The minister declares that there is no sign of sabotage. Kin of dead get 25 lakhs each, injured, 1 lakh each. The Prime Minister has expressed deep sorrow at the incident. And now, for more on this, we will go to our correspondent Shivani, on ground zero.
Shivani, what do you have for us?

Shivani: Thanks, Rumpeltiltzkin (or whatever). Three people have died in a train accident here at Jamungaon. The minister has declared that there is no sign of sabotage. Kin of dead will get 25 lakhs each, injured, 1 lakh each. The Prime Minister has expressed deep sorrow at the incident.

Anchor: Thank you, Shivani. Our second story today is about the reforms in the power sector. The power minister just said that there will be major reforms in the power sector, including generation, transmission, distribution. We have an expert with us here, Mr. Taraporewala, who will tell us more about what we need.
Mr. Taraporewala, what do you think we need to do to reform our power sector?

Mr. T: Well, I think we need major reforms in generation, transmission and distribution, to take us to the next century.

Anchor: Thank you, Mr. Taraporewala. We go into a short break, and will be back with (back) breaking news!

My Comments on the Headline News

There have been, in the past three days, around three or four stories doing the rounds of the news channels on Indian TV. Uncannily, all channels have the same stories. Makes you wonder, in a country of about 1.2 billion, if that is all that is happening. As I speak, a new story, on onion prices, has started doing the rounds. Instead of investigating who is planting the stories (not onions), I will concentrate on the learnings from these news stories.

1. PM goes to Bhutan. This is a masterpiece, because firstly, it improves everyone's general knowlegde. Not many people in the world know where Bhutan is. Heck, many in South Carolina (US) did not know where Florida is. You can imagine what educating India must feel like. TV journos too-educating them, I mean.

2. Preity Zinta, actress, filed a case for harassment and verbal abuse against ex-boyfriend and current business partner, businessman Ness Wadia. Moral of the story seems to be- if you are pretty, don't mess with Ness. Or is it Ness, you don't mess with pretty women? We'll find out.

3. There are murders and rapes happening at the rate of two per day in U.P. Having tried to set up records in many different things, the state has at last established a clear lead in these unsavoury stats - a sad 'state' of affairs. Badayun, made famous by the lyricist Shakeel Badayuni, is at the rough end of the stick.

4. The Kedarnath tragedy (landslide in the mountains) is still producing random bodies, among charges of inadequate rescue and search operations. Moral- venture out there when all your worldly affairs have been settled, because you never know if you'll make it back.

TV Jargon- Debatable?

TV and newspaper jargon is a constant source of mirth (Think I have been watching too many TV debates, thanks to Uttarakhand floods and some new juicy scam). I expect management jargon must be having a similar effect on the non-managers.

Any TV debate has a confused and/or aggressive anchor (think anyone of them, not just Arnab), and six participants, each with a 2-inch square window of opportunity-to-speak. The anchor lights a fire, it snowballs into flames, sometimes roaring flames.

Some guy: This is anti-national, anti- individual freedom, anti- aam admi, blah, blah...

Anchor: Absolutely (he never says relatively)

Another guy: This will negate the impact of what our govt. did in so-and-so year, blah, blah, blah..

Anchor: You have hit the nail on the head (whose head?)

Yet Another gal: You were always anti-poor, pro-America, FDI in Retail was a conspiracy, blah, blah,..

Anchor (turning to Guy 4 whom this barb is aimed at): Can you explain your stand on this important issue, vis-a-vis this charge made by YAG (see above)?

And so, at the end of a fire-and brimstone, noisy half hour, all the world's problems solved, vocal cords massaged, everyone goes home. And the viewer is none-the-wiser about whether his vegetables will cost more or less, due to the Monetary policy, Egypt uprising, or the Uttarakhand floods. And he is vaguely wondering who Snowden is, and if he saw him (snow..) on the weather channel.

All the new applicants for banks...what are they banking on?

Newspaper Pages

If I were to classify the news that mostly appears these days, I could classify it as follows. Dedicated pages would look like this-

Page 1: Age of the Army Chief, Navy Chief, Air Force Chief and all their subordinates. Their stories, along with the living midwives' interviews.

Page 2: Who the U.S. will attack next: Take your pick, from daily exclusives on North Korea, Iraq (sorry, that's done), Syria, Iran, ....Pakistan (a new addition), Afghanistan (they don't have time to spell the full thing, so it could be Af-Pak). The motive for the attacks is obvious. If we (the U.S.) have to be miserable, we bloody well won't be alone! Read my lips- either you are with us, or you are...Screwed! Never mind that the real weapons of mass destruction are all on Wall Street.

Page 3: The usual party animals, ranging from Lady Gaga, to Gents Gaga over Oprah Winfrey and Lady Gaga.

Page 4: Political who's who and who's not in the who's who..same list, keep rotating the names.

Page 5: Business Leaders- a day in the life of a Business Leader, written by a fawning reporter.

Page 6: Economic news. I have a question here. Why do they call something 'Basis points' when there is a simpler word- percentage- available for use?

Page 7: Investment advice. Other than your Savings bank accounts (in a nationalised bank) and your Provident Fund,these are mostly castles in the air, a mythical animal like the Phoenix, and are designed to make the brokers rich. Or the jeweller, if you buy gold.

Page 8: Here we run out of ideas, and put anything that we couldn't put elsewhere. A hotch-potch of all kinds of no-news.

Page 9: Sports. Here we discuss the retirement plans of all cricket players over 25- we have been at it for about 15 years now, and going strong still. You can also throw in (retirement plans of) coaches, selectors and so on, to add spice. But other games are strictly a no-no.

Page 10: Here, in case you haven't laughed out loud yet, we have some comics.