Global Friends of Mine

 Of course, my classmates from school and college and MBA (IIMB), plenty of them are abroad- Kamalesh, Adithya, Seshu, Jayan, Lurdumar, Srinivas, Avadhanulu, Banny, Kishore, Ramu, Vicky and so on..

Childhood friend Kiran Kenjale, and a few others in various places around the world.

Alumni - Nidhi (from Indore originally), Tanya, Anchal, Anuj, Meghana (Joshi), Tanaya Kar, Pooja Daniel, Anu Bhoopathy, Vidya TC, Swapna, Smita (named after Smita Patil by her Dad), Sanjeev Undri, and lots more, I am sure- 

Relatives starting from my cousins, brother, Nieces and nephews large in number.

Also, friends I made in conferences - like Samudrika from Sri Lanka, Yapin from China, Natalija from Lithuania, Tim Lee from Korea, and so on..

Of course, there are NRI friends like Anil and Suresh who were flat-mates in USA, and 

Stock Market Crash

It appears there is a stock market crash in most major world markets today. It includes India, the U.S. and others such as Hong Kong and of course, the root cause of all these-China.

I do understand that stock markets are meant to go up and down-if not, they would not be markets. But China has managed to spook the world markets almost as much as Greece did a few weeks/months ago, almost single-handedly. I now feel that the house of cards that is the exchange market is also going to collapse one day, given that no one seems to understand the true worth of a national currency any more. If the currency is low, it is with an agenda in mind-usually the agenda is cheaper exports. But if everyone devalues their currency, who are they going to export to? It should even out in the end, assuming all are playing that game.

The answer may be the U.S., which usually does not end up devaluing the dollar so much, as all the devaluers expect the dollar to remain strong (if they are to remain weak) and the U.S. to increase imports of their goods (or services). Like all games we play, this has to show its true colours and reach an end game too. So let's wait and watch what happens. Another effect of this is that the Economic News channels are suddenly beating the TRP of Friends re-runs and Big Bang Theory.

Holi Matrimony

Some thoughts about Holi and matrimony.

Both are colourful, especially the clothes bought/coloured and the language used in marital fights (the martial arts).

Both are confusing. Which day is Holi, exactly, for instance? And who is to cook in the married household, for instance.

Holi gives you excuses for chhed-chhad. Or used to, before various laws were enacted to take better care of women. Now, one less excuse to be inebriated with ''manly" power, I guess.

Just when you thought all the Holi songs had been written, there comes another. I think Ranbir and Deepika starred in one recently. On marriage, there are only jokes. Bollywood (happy) songs are all pre-marriage. What is the significance of that?

Marriage is supposed to provide security. And it promotes GDP growth. How? Married couples need a house, a car, a fridge, a washing machine, a cooking gas, restaurants, work to pay all the bills,...

So all you need to do to increase GDP growth to Chinese levels and beyond...you guessed it. Promote holy matrimony.

Global Events- A Citizen's View

As a global citizen, one keeps listening to and viewing news stories about various things happening all over. That the media allocate their time disproportionately to different corners of the world would be an understatement. But still, the conclusions that can be drawn from all these half-baked and distorted stories are somewhat disturbing, portending of worse things in key areas.

The urge to go to war is not abating. Whoever is right or wrong is not the point. Ukraine/rebels, Iraq/rebels, Pakistan/rebels, or Israel/Gaza residents, all may be right in their own way. The point is, do you need to kill innocents to prove it? If not talks, is there no dharma-yudh (gentlemen's war, for want of a better translation) possible without innocents being drawn into it?

All the well-meaning parties that spend time on TV debates, can't they do some positive social work that may transform some potential rapists in the society, or potential criminals, or even actual ones? I have yet to hear of too many such stories in any media, including social, that have been organised by a political party of any hue.

Why is there undue coverage of yatras (pilgrimages) to various places? Is it not an individual's choice if he/she wants to embark on one, without the state getting unduly involved?

Is the world going to be a better place if USA/Russia/China/India or any one country is supreme? Is there any evidence at all that Romans or Greeks or Mongols were better than the rest at this? What can make the world a better place- health, water, easy travel to understand other people, cultures, decrease in pollution, access to livelihood, seem to be taking a back-seat to hyped expensive products, that we are expected to consume in higher numbers in pursuit of happiness defined by someone else. And usually, the hype works.

Solving Grave Problems in a Jiffy

I was thinking. About grave problems that the media tell us we are facing these days. And then, I thought about them for about 30 minutes. And bingo, came up with solutions for all of them. Here they are-

How to Stop Chinese Incursions

-Threaten to exchange our currency for theirs. We get a strong currency, and get rid of the Chinese, at one stroke.

Problem of Import of Oil Leading to Current Account Deficit (CAD)-whatever that is.

-Make Nano the only passenger car that can be sold in India. This solves all the above, in addition to solving the parking issue, and congestion on our roads.

-Another one for the CAD. Ban gold possession by individuals, citing ancient and modern philosophers. We are the land of Buddha, who taught renunciation. The women ,may not vote for you, but that is a calculated risk, because the men might!

If you ban gold, it will automatically boost the bank deposits and stock market investments by Indians, and we don't need FIIs (whatever they are) to do that. Masterstroke, or what!

Saving Newsprint- Shortest Essays

Indians generally use 100 words where two would suffice. If England was a nation of shop-keepers, we are one of speech-makers. But in order to save the listeners, and trees when this verbal barrage appears in print, I have come up with a brilliant solution. The two-line essay/speech. R.I.P, TV debates, Arnab etc..

Examples

1. Should India adopt the Western model of blah, blah,..(put here any suitable word for a good thing they do)?

Yes.

2. Should we let China go on taking evening constitutionals in Ladakh?

No.

3. Should there be Food Security?

Yes.

4. A Bill for Food Security?

As long as someone is ready to pay (the bill).

5. Should we allow pizza places/dance bars/Wal-Mart/Pubs/Poonam Pandey/?

Depends

6. Should we have a spitting Tax?

YES.

The Fiscal Cliff

It must be fun getting to a fiscal cliff. For instance, if I were the US of A, I would be driving a Rolls Royce, my wife and kids a Mercedes or a BMW. I would have owned an island or two in every continent, I would be flying in my private jet to these islands - like a Bond villain, and then taking leisurely rides in my yacht along with select invitees, sipping malts made at my distilleries.

...Playing golf at a few private golf courses, ending with a spa treatment at my own resort, watching TV shows made by my own company scripted from my own scripts, publishing my own stories at my publishing house, selling them through my chain bookstores, and getting them reviewed at my own newspaper.

And the bills for all the above would be paid by China. Ekdum fit hai. What cliff are we talking about?

Not So Secret Service

A joke that I had not heard about 9-11 times.

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

I also had a chance to taste the single malt whiskey that India is famous for-yes, it's called Amrut, and it's made in Bangalore. But it is hard to find, apparently. So I am glad I got that item on the bucket list out of the way. It tastes pretty good, incidentally. I would put it in the top ten, after Ardbeg, Laphroaig and Lagavulin- the Islay malts with a peaty, smoky flavour.