How to Deal With Bosses

I have to credit a group of bright alumni of IMT Nagpur with whom I had an outing recently for the title of this blog. We thought that MBA programs should include a course on this. So I am setting out a possible map of contents here-

1. Who is the boss? Some understanding of whose orders you follow in life should help in identifying this character-sometimes it's more than one.

2. Why is he the boss? (Could be a she-I had a lady boss in my first job). Understanding whether he is the promoter, his son/daughter, nephew puts things in perspective. If not, how he managed to get there will serve as a useful lesson in how to deal with him.

3. What can he do to you? The worst case scenario and the best case scenario..a range of possibilities, in other words.

4. What can you do? Scenarios and responses to those scenarios if you are a reacting type, or plot possibilities, if you are the proactive type.

5. Should you stay or leave? The million-dollar question. Signals that ask you to look around can be identified early, combined with some of the above.

More can be added, such as a typology of bosses. But that would be in the main course- this was only an appetizer!

Stupid People-Strategies for Dealing with Them

These are simple strategies to deal with stupid people. I think we all can try them out, as they should work, unless you do something stupid..

1. Get them a job..if they are colleagues, get them a job elsewhere-preferably at your competitor's company.

2. Don't give them work, if they are your subordinates..this is because the stupid things they do will take days to remedy, and you would have to do that..and that would be..YES.

3. Ignore them..this is difficult, because like cranky kids, the stupid guys keep drawing your attention..well, you draw it back.

4. Promote them. This may seem stupid at first, but eventually, this works, because soon, they'll become the CEO. And since no CEO talks to underlings regularly, you are safe..

5. Write poetry or prose about them (like I am doing)..this will do nothing to them, but at least you would have done something useful, instead of something stupid.

How to Deal With Fake News

Among all the manuals you need today, this is the most important- How to deal with Fake News. You will never ever need another manual on this subject. So here's how-

Step 1: Treat all news as fake news until proven otherwise. The onus of proof lies on the newscaster, reporter, forwarder, etc..and not on you. You just enjoy the feeling of being entertained by the lowly beings who create this, just like you might enjoy (I said might) a blockbuster Bhai film.

Step 2: Subscribe to the fakingnews website. They really have some good stuff, and they tell you it's fake news too. Pure entertainment, no tension about whether you should respond angrily, get offended, launch a counterattack, and so on.

Step 3: No news is good news. Switch off all news feeds, and listen to the birds tweet-instead of those awful 140 character things. Pretty sure you won't miss much, except voting day. But then, you are just voting for another fake news creator, so what the heck..go back to your beer, or chai, or whatever, and contemplate..gives you a lot of peace.

Step 4. If everything else fails, fake some news of your own... Everything is fair in the war of the fakes...