Authors Create Characters

 Hercule Poirot, Perry Mason, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond.. almost everyone in our circles (readers, film-goers) knows these characters. Some of us may be aware of Nero Wolfe, Bertha Cool and Donald Lam, and a few others too. Cartoonists did that too. R.K. Laxman's Common Man, or Mario Miranda's Miss Fonseca are examples.

Creating a new character is not easy. You have to give him/her a personality like a real woman/man, and make some of their mannerisms or characteristics unique, like the egg-shaped head, the constant talk about "the little grey cells" and a few French words/phrases in the case of Hercule Poirot, so the reader starts visualising the character. 

In my brief writing journey, I am proud of having created two characters, at least. Two humans, that is, and a mosquito, Anopheles. She has views about us humans, and they are not always charitable. But we are friends, so I take these in my stride. Very intelligent conversationalist, she can talk about any topic. 

The two human characters were Lord Rocheskatchewn (pronounced Rooska-toon), 21^st Earl of Rocheskatchewn and an MBA student, Gurumurthy, who shows the Lord around the campus when he visits IIM Bangalore.

Happiness or Long Life?

What is your goal? Is it to be happy or to live long? Or something else?

One must try and achieve whatever goal one has. If you want to be the owner of your own island, you have to try and generate wealth so you can own one. Like one of those Bond film villains who all seem to live on an island-could be just a correlation, and not causation! Also, Bond could come and destroy it all, so think carefully.

But the point is, if you want quick money, you can try and trade in something that has the potential to get you there (with the downside being that it may wipe out what you have got)- real estate, stocks, commodities, or any other legal methods of gambling (include Las Vegas trips, and lotteries).

If you want long life, you should not go out on the road, because given our traffic, anyone can kill you in a minute -it's dangerous out there. I can vouch for it-I nearly got killed a few months ago. But seriously, you may have to get into watching what you eat, and exercise (why do I see a frown on your face?) and so on.

If you want to be happy, all you need to do is smile a lot, read funny stuff (Wodehouse, Woody Allen, Bill Bryson, Dave Barry etc..) and generate smiles around you. Sounds easy? Then try it-but only if that's your life goal.

Roger Moore - Broken Bonds

His passing away brought back memories of the suave Bond he played in six or seven films. I think I saw and enjoyed all of them, but some I remember better than others. Live and Let Die and The Man with the Golden Gun in particular.

He was stylish, delivered the one-liners very coolly, and looked the part. Later Bonds were mostly no match, except Pierce Brosnan. I also read his autobiography, which was not so great, but narrated his story of struggles quite sincerely.

He will be remembered for keeping James Bond alive through his classy work. Long live Moore!

Bonding with India-Vishwaroop

James Bond with all his singularities, has made a home for himself in this former colony. But he had to be white, had to sleep with countless women, and pull one-liners, drink shaken stuff, and introduce himself as Bond, James Bond (which I try sometimes). He was my favourite while growing up, though I don't watch the modern ones any more.

Not any more. He can now be a guy full of RAW energy from India, have a single wife who is cheating on him, be a dance teacher by day, and drink nothing alcoholic in sight of the camera. Kamalhaasan brings so many new dimensions into the role, that it is worth a dekko. I liked Shekhar Kapoor second best- dunno why he vanished after one or two roles ages ago. He is such a fine actor, with looks that one can only envy.

Anyway, there is some Afghanistan (nicely shot, like Feroz Khan did in Dharmatma), some New York (with NYPD cops bumbling initially), and a lot of action. It mostly keeps you interested, though a sequence or two are dragged a bit long. The first stunt is stunning, where he escapes from 10-15 goons of the terrorist outfit.

The idea of a desi Bond has been tried earlier, with Jeetendra and Mithun in particular, but this is classy stuff- a class apart. Though the Mithun and Jeetu ones were entertaining too, with some songs, and comedy.

The Fiscal Cliff

It must be fun getting to a fiscal cliff. For instance, if I were the US of A, I would be driving a Rolls Royce, my wife and kids a Mercedes or a BMW. I would have owned an island or two in every continent, I would be flying in my private jet to these islands - like a Bond villain, and then taking leisurely rides in my yacht along with select invitees, sipping malts made at my distilleries.

...Playing golf at a few private golf courses, ending with a spa treatment at my own resort, watching TV shows made by my own company scripted from my own scripts, publishing my own stories at my publishing house, selling them through my chain bookstores, and getting them reviewed at my own newspaper.

And the bills for all the above would be paid by China. Ekdum fit hai. What cliff are we talking about?

Obama, India, Fog and Storms

Quite a diverse set of topics to deal with. If Obama makes it to the White House again, he would be the longest Black president to live in the White House. How's that for a new take on the elections? I think he is a smart guy being ed astray by the 'establishment' which is into routine things like finding the next country to bomb and so on. No novelty, or out-of-the-box thinking.

India has elections going in the state of Himachal Pradesh, and I have no clue about the issues there. FDI in retail appeared shortly in TV debates, but disappeared just as quickly. Prices of apples, maybe?

Delhi had a few fogged-out days, which was the result of some unusual weather, and it was not a reflection of our fogged-out brains. The Chennai storm Nilam had something to do with it, plus other things.

Now, if only we had something more interesting on the anvil- actually, there is. The old classic Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro is re-releasing. Should do a world of good in a humourless world. Go see it at a theatre near you. I somehow don't feel enthused by the new Bond.

Ruskin Bond- Book of Humour

Before I get to Ruskin Bond, I saw an Iranian movie and was impressed-again. The Song of Sparrows stars an ungainly looking hero- middle-aged, ugly, bearded, and a poor guy, a father with three kids, who loses a job tending to Ostriches, and then gets one as a motorcycle taxiwala in Teheran accidentally His adventures, limited as they are, are all that the film traverses, but HOW! It is amazing how these guys churn out world-class movies which make for riveting viewing so effortlessly, without a huge star cast or any of the melodrama we find in Bollywood. One of the scenes has his leg in a plaster, and his kids fighting over who will draw/paint on the cast- brilliant thinking.

Coming to Ruskin Bond, his Book of Humour is my first Bond book. I was bowled over by his style of writing, and regretted not having read him before. Better late than never. He talks about almost anything with a humour that is simple, engaging and inimitable. From his uncles that rival Wodehouse's aunts, to his own foibles, everything takes on a unique charm in his world. He talks about an uncle who out of habit tries to poison him, and how he gets away with it by switching glasses - a la Hindi films- in one of the stories.

A fun read!

Ruskin Bond- A Nice Man to Know

I happened to watch an interview with the man on national TV the other day. I was really impressed. I am not easily impressed by people (usually celebrities) most of whom I find faking things, looking to promote themselves or their immediate work (normally films).

Self-effacing must be his second name. I confess I have not read any of his work, and may do so now, because of my interest in him as a person. Loveable is a term that comes to mind. He has a gentle humour which comes through in this interview. A couple of observations he made were really heart-warming. A couple of his young readers told him that he should put more action in his stories.-that they are slow-moving.

He is also the writer of ghost stories, apparently. He wrote the story that was converted into Saat Khoon Maaf, about a wife serially murdering seven husbands- so he is not as innocent as he looks. He confessed he had a few more ways of killing them he had thought about but did not use in the story!

On living in India, he said it is far more interesting than Europe, which is a bit monotonous. An astute observation, one that I agree with, even regarding the U.S.