Wonders of Social Media

If someone had told me while growing up that there would be free communication avenues to keep in touch with friends worldwide, I wouldn't have believed it. Being in a people-intensive profession (teaching), I also have students who are spread across the world, and ex-colleagues. Some of them have remained in touch since email days (they seem numbered, the email days). Many more media have appeared on the horizon since then that are better, with my favourite being fb..I know, the youngsters are groaning, again..but half the world's population can't be wrong, right?

Here's just one couple (and their cute kid) I met again due to our being in touch on social media.

But such wonderful technology was made possible by innovations in hardware and software by hundreds of different innovators, and funded by governments who may have originally developed some of it for military uses (spying, in other words). Whatever the origins, it has definitely been a Godsend for many people who like to stay in touch with people across the world. I keep saying though, that periodically, these virtual friendships benefit from a real handshake and looking into each others' eyes (not romantically, necessarily). I have had lovely meetings with students, colleagues, friends (new and old-some I met first on FB) over the last few years only thanks to their being in touch on facebook. Hope that silsila continues.. Zuckerberg bro, I am a Fan!

An aside- wherever I go, people tell me they need to win my DP Award soon, or complain about not winning it ever..my words of advice would be listen to the Gully Boy and believe in his song..Apna Time Aayega.

New Ways to Die

Who says the last inventor was Thomas Edison? We as a species have always been inventors. It's in our blood- or at least in a couple of us, like Zuckerberg. But I am not talking of dating inventions that went out of control here. I am talking of new ways to die.

In the good old days (just a turn of phrase, can't guarantee they were ACTUALLY good), we could only get a good old heart attack (by whatever name called), or drown in  a river.

Gradually, we invented car crashes (after cars were invented, of course), air crashes (likewise), and a sundry collection of such methods. Some went so far as to crash a Space Shuttle too, but that was rare.

Now, since  9/11, we have turned our attention to the dying process, and have turned innovative. Some top favourites are-

A selfie on the edge of a cliff- talk about LIVING on the edge!

The doctor leaving his scissors in your tummy. A scissarian section?

Driving while you text. What, you say it's too graphic? Text can't be, it's two different things..

Suicide (that's an old one) because of a breakup over FB Messenger (that's the twist).

Honour killing (old one) for even more trivial things (new reasons)- just watch any Hindi movie that is trying to unite two souls in love, and you'll have the annoyed parent pick up a gun and threaten to (or actually) kill his daughter, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, or all of the afore-mentioned. Sons are excluded, because they are needed to kill the next generation.

Trying to buy a first day ticket for a Rajnikanth film. Kabali, da..

Zuckerberg Jokes

Some innovative stuff, inspired by the Facebook founder's India visit.

Which would be his favourite Hindi film?

Jhuk gaya aasman.


His favourite song from Hindi films?

Jhuk jhuk, jhak, jhak, Bombay se Baroda tak, tum kaho gate rahe hum..


His favourite restaurant?

Zak's.


What did he do when his girlfriend ditched him?

Started playing Candy Crush Saga.


What did he say to Modi when he was told "Make in India?"

He 'made' a face.


He went to a meeting with top industrialists and celebrities. The emcee asked him about the competition.

A 'twitter' could be heard among the audience.


When Zuckerberg is tongue-tied, what does he do?

Like, you mean, like, stutter, ..like ..

Anopheles Stages a Comeback- Episode 5

Years ago, I had a friend called Anopheles, the female mosquito who bites. We  used to have a lot of conversations about various things. And then she vanished. Well, she has made a comeback.

I was deep in slumber the other night, when she buzzed me. I thought it was the cellphone, but it was my old friend.

“You don’t talk to me anymore,” she complained.

“It’s not you,” I said. “We don’t talk to anyone, period.”

“Why?” She seemed puzzled.

“Because of Facebook,” I told her.

“What’s that?” She arched her eyebrows.

I said, ‘Every few years, there is a new billionaire who creates something. Actually 'creates' is not the right word, because you can’t see his creations, except for a few fleeting seconds. Not made of flesh and blood, like you and me. The latest is this fellow, Zuckerberg by name, who made his billions and half the world has gone crazy. The other half is not on Facebook yet only because there is no electricity in their town.’

‘But what do you do on this Facebook?’ was her innocent question.

‘Well, it’s hard to explain. We post things- I mean, we write stuff about which toothpaste we brushed with, whom we are hanging out with, where we went, whether it rained today, how awful work is, and so on. And our friends ‘like’ what we write.’

‘How can you call them friends if they like your having an awful day at work?’ She remained interrogative.

I tried to defend Zuckerberg (millionaires tend to bring out this quality in non-millionaires). I said, “Well, the Like is only an acknowledgement that they read what I wrote. Not that all the stuff is likeable.”

Not convinced, she asked, “What else?”

I said, “We also go to exotic places and take pics so that we can share them with our friends.”

“You mean the same friends we spoke about?”

“Yeah, the same. They can also ‘like’ photos or make some snide remarks about how you are looking in your new, expensive hair style.”

“And you insist on calling them friends. With friends like these, you don’t need enemies.” She smirked.

I was now curious about where she had gone all these years. So I asked her.

“Oh, life is tough these days.” She became pensive. Continuing, she said, “You know, with trees being chopped and water bodies drying up, it is tough to find places to breed. And pesticides are getting more powerful. Be careful, one day they might affect you. I don’t know why, but human blood does not taste the same any more.”

“May be it’s polluted by all the chemicals, and those pesticides,” I suggested.

“Also, she complained, “Our kids want blood to reach them easy, without having to work for it. Can’t understand the generation.”

That touched a raw nerve. I said, “Let’s discuss this another time. Boss has called an early morning meeting tomorrow.”

And wishing her goodnight, I went back to sleep.