Race 4 - A Script

 There was this horrible Hindi film called Race 3 a couple of years ago. So, being the creative mind that I always was (patting myself on the back is congenital and incurable), I sat down to think about a script for their next- Race 4. If you can't beat them, join them was my watchword. And, I succeeded. So here it is. I am selling it to the highest bidder.

Race-4

There are 4 teams in the race announced by the Intergalactic Vehicles Association based on Asteroid no. 420. The four are- Branson with a virgin (craft), Jeff Bezos with a new girlfriend, Elon Musk with a pet, and Salman Bhai with Katrina Kaif (or Jacqueline, based on who wins THAT race- to speak Hindi properly).

They start from the Sahara desert, because there's no parking available in Nevada anymore. All of them have a crew of two to four, in case they get lost, and have to be steered back to Earth. Whoever finds the headquarters of the Godforsaken Planets Association (GPA) on Pluto wins. 

They all blast off at the scheduled hour, when an Olympics gun borrowed from Tokyo is fired. Katrina (or Jacqueline) looks at Bhai and says, "Yeh kya ho raha hai?" like Dhritarashtra did in Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro when mayhem took place in his court. Bhai explains the rules of the game to her and says, "Don't worry, Bro, hum hi jeetenge." (the dialogue writer from Race 3 was borrowed here). 

The vehicles run by the competitors all have the latest solid fuel technology, and take an intial lead. But they are no match for the Hindi film heroes that take inspiration from writers that gave them so many flights of fancy over the years. So, there is a happy ending (not that kind, the filmy one), and Bhai's craft (with Jacqueline, or Katrina) sails into the GPA HQ and lands gingerly, waving the Tiranga. The crew sings to the losers, who appear after a few minutes- "Tum besahara ho to, kisi ka Sahara bano,." -signifying THE END.

There are a few twists and turns along the way that I cannot reveal, because this script is for sale. Interested? Bids close tomorrow.

Caravan

In the good old days, a caravan was an assorted bunch of wagons, horses and men/women going from one place to another. Then Nasir Husain made a film starring Jeetendra and Asha Parekh around it. It became famous due to a Helen-Asha Bhosle song though- Piya tu, ab to aa ja, with RD Burman doing his famous breathing-into-the-microphone sounds.

Now, Saregama has innovated a retro song player with some modern features and given it the name Carvaan or Caravan. This contains around 5000 Hindi film songs, and is apparently catching on, partly due to digital/online marketing.

Good to see something innovative by the Indians, for the Indians. Else we would only be going hyper about Hyperloop. Instead, we can enjoy retro music on a loop, what?