Messi

What's with names? Can they be your nemesis (Ok, this word comes from reading Phantom (the nemesis of pirates) comics, folks)?

I mean, Messi? Why not Tidy? Ok, if that sounds like an advertisement for Proctor and Gamble (another crazy name, by the way), maybe Clean. While we are at it, company names too sound odd at times.

My theory about cricketers' names was that you ought to have a name that sounds right. My guess that Lalchand Rajput would never make it with a name like his, came true.

Many film stars realise it and change their names in time. Haribhai Jariwala wouldn't have the same appeal as Sanjeev Kumar, would it? Tun Tun is the only exception I know. Uma Devi was actually a better name, but maybe the new one 'positioned' her well for those funny cameos in films. Yusuf saab benefited from becoming Dilip Kumar, and Jatin Khanna from turning into Rajesh. Madhubala sounds shaayarana compared to her original name, which I have forgotten.

So, the upshot of all this is, I am now looking out for a new name. Suggestions?

Reservashuns

There are Indian reservations in the US. No, it's not seats on a plane, or a job, that I am talking about. These are places where native Indians (pre-Columbus) can have their own lifestyle, a sort of autonomous region within the states.

In India, we have different kinds of reservations. For jobs. Imagine having reservations, in the following-

1. Cricket team (The Wall may have crumbled even before being built)
2. Docs in hospitals (population may reduce unintentionally)
3. Pilots (MH 370 would be just a blip on the radar of incidents)
4. Film acting (all Kapoors rendered jobless in one stroke- they may have to turn to agriculture, so that they still influence our culture)
5. Music- The Mangeshkar sisters would not have got an opportunity? Kishore Kumar would have been a stand-up artist.
6. Politics ( Mayawati might have been PM for 10 years instead of Manmohan Singh)
7. Car mechanics- you would have lots of fun driving a car, not knowing what would snap.
8. Builders- we can have a building collapse a day, easily beating world records.
9. Movie directors- "frankly, my dear," this would not change anything!
10. Blog writers. You know what, I might just hang up my boots.

Ek Villain- Film Review

Mohit Suri (of 'Murder 2' fame) has got some talent. For giving some brooding, unexpected moments in his films. The narration is not linear, like many others. He also uses a lot of closeups, and does not use two hundred and fifty dancers in a song meant for the hero and heroine.

The first half of this film was very good, but he kind of ran out of a story in the second. The climax is not as tight or interesting as it might have been, and it was actually predicted by a friend during the intermission. I found the actors good though. Shraddha was the best, followed by the two men. But Siddharth at times has the same expression for too long, like some TV serial specialists. Riteish's character has a dramatic feel to it, and is very different from his usual comic acts. All the characters seem to be on the edge, which helps the narrative, much more in the first half.

The songs are nice, the photography good, and the violence, bearable. Better than many recent films (refer to Humshakals review). 2.8 on 5 (watchable). With the second half repaired, it had the potential for a 4 on 5.

Tribute to RD and SD Burman

On RD Burman's birth anniversary, my tribute to the incredible father and son duo. Naturally, by listing out some of my favourites from both. Here goes-

1. Ye dil na hota bechaara, from Jewel Thief
2. Ruk jaana o jaana hum se do batein karke chali jaana (with the road roller doing a cook, cook to go with the ruk, ruk,...minor genius!). Dev Anand at his neck-moving best in both these songs.
3. Mere sapnon ki rani kab aayegi tu,...worth it just for the mouth organ (harmonica?) in it.
4. Piya tu, ab to aaja, ..possibly the sexiest club dance ever.
5. Mehbooba, mehbooba, ..same as above, part 2. Rural setting.
6. Chala jaata hoon, kisiki dhun mein dhadakte dil ke taraane liye...romantic road song.
7. O mere dil ke chain ....oh so romantic, anywhere song.
8. Hey maine kasam lee, hey tune kasam lee, nahin honge juda humm..Tere Mere Sapne, Mumtaz and Dev Anand. Charming lyrics like "saans teri madir madir jaise rajnigandha, .."
9. Aane wala pal, jaanewala hai...meaningful, lyrical.
10. Musafir hoon yaron, na ghar hai na thikaana..one of my all time favourites.
11. Pyar diwana hota hai, one of the best piano songs.
12. Kehna hai, kehna hai, aaj tumse yeh pehli baar,....Padosan
13. Aaj unse pehli mulaqat hogi, phir aamne saamne baat hogi..Paraya dhan. Similar sentiments as above, in anticipation.
14. Kuch to log kahenge, ..chhodo bekar ki baton mein kahin beet na jaaye raina..classic advice.
15. Haal kaisa hai janaab ka,..a lovely duet from Chalti ka Naam Gaadi.
16. Ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga..one of those dreamy numbers.. 1942- A Love Story.

Maybe more in another post.



Tattoo Tittle Tattle

I decided to get myself a tattoo. After all, I had got a facebook page, a Whatsapp account (for a while), a Samsung mobile, and so on. The only thing lacking in my life now was a tattoo. The only problem that remained was "what to tattoo?" (no, this is not an attempt at inventing tongue-twisters)

I thought of my first girlfriend's name. But that would be unfair to the subsequent ones. My favourite movie actress? But I had one for each decade that I watched films (you can see I am 'decadent' many times over). So should it be the golden sixties, the roaring seventies, the throbbing eighties, the novel nineties, or the new millennial decade of 2000 plus? It was too confusing. So I thought of  my favourite quote. But it wouldn't fit easily. I would have to give an arm and a leg for it.

Then, I thought of a slogan. If I had to pick one defining slogan that would capture what I would like to do now, later and forever, that would be my watchword for life, what would it be? And it came to me in a flash- Relax. So I did, and postponed the tete- a- tete with the tattoo artist to another day.

Dave Barryisms

Dave Barry is one of the best American sit-down comics (I don't know if he does stand-up comedy) I have read. Here are a couple of his gems from 'Dave Barry Does Japan,' which I am reading slowly, so that I can savour it longer- the way you linger over your favourite ice-cream. Not his exact words, but the jokes are his-

As I got off the plane, I noticed rightaway something unique about Japan. For  lack of a better phrase, I'll call it "lack of height." Every Japanese person was tall as our average school boy, without the guns.

The Bellboy got the luggage into the hotel room, and then did something amazing. He left! In America, he would have stayed with you until you remembered to tip him.


Translation of Japanese people speaking English into American.

Ah- No

I see- No

I will think about your proposal-  It will be sent to the shredder.

Note: The polite Japanese never say no. So the thick-headed Americans need this Guide to Japan to help them understand what's going on, according to Barry.


World Cup- Cricket, I Mean

Today is the anniversary of the first (Prudential) World cup win by India. Kapil Dev was the unlikely guy holding the cup instead of the West Indies or England captains. And what a series of matches it was!

I remember the thrill of watching some of them, the final included, on a TV set (UPTRON, for the brand-conscious), in our common room at the IIMB hostel. Some of the earlier matches I heard on radio because I was travelling for my summer internship with WIDIA at the time. I remember a lot of people played well in a team effort through the series. Roger Binny, Mohinder Amarnath, Sandeep Patil and Kapil himself being some of them.

The final was low-scoring. India put just 183 or so on the board. Then, Balwinder Singh Sandhu created magic by clean-bowling Gordon Greenidge with a beauty that swung onto the stumps. That started the fall in the finals. Kapil had a spectacular catch to get Richards. That was the final nail in the coffin for the West Indians. And the (East) Indians triumphed in style.

Feel Good Stuff

What makes us feel good? Try some of these for size.

A road that was full of pot-holes being made up like Hema Malini's cheeks (to use a Lalooism). Had this feeling recently on the Rau-Pithampur road in front of the institute. It was languishing in a lunar crater syndrome for a while.

The sight of vegetables in a market, neatly arranged.

The sight of a shady tree on a summer afternoon.

The sound of rain, and the smell.

A cup of tea on the boil.

A long-time-no-see meeting with a friend.

A beach. A lake. A river. Particularly when it's deep blue water.

A poori fluffing up in the kadhai.

I guess I am hungry!





Humshakals- Film Review

This is what can aptly be described as a khichdi film- neither here nor there. It takes too many different gags or elements from too many diverse films, and the resultant brew is tough on your digestive systems.

First, the constant switches between the lookalikes which ought to be a pleasant surprise, get tiresome after they happen once too often. Three of each is a bit 'three' much too. Saif and Riteish are not bad, but Ram Kapoor overacts, and is only in a slightly better position than the three girls, who get to do so little, except plan a stupid scheme to break in to a board meeting. Satish Shah is wasted in a stupid fan-of-Hitler role. He is capable of much more.

Individual scenes are good and bad, some of the good ones being straight lifts from various sources- usually Hollywood or British comedies such as Carry on Doctor, or Mel Brooks' movies. Some scenes are so bad that they evoke yawns rather than laughter. The songs are atrocious, and could have been totally edited out. But I guess Himesh Reshammiya Rozgar Yojana has to go on.

On the whole, you could give it a miss and watch Padosan, Gol Maal, or Angoor again- the last being a classic lookalikes movie, with great acting by Sanjeev Kumar and Deven Verma.

Some Thoughts on Appearances

Note: The 'I' is metaphorical.

I wanted to appear thoughtful. So I thought!

I wanted to appear beautiful. So I made up (as in make up).

I wanted to appear wise. So I read up.

I wanted to appear humourous, So I cracked some jokes.

I wanted to appear fair. So I heard both sides.

I wanted to appear spiritual. So I took to spirits in the right spirit.

Hope you are spiritual, and take this in the right spirit.

Artists at Their Peak

There is something special about artists who are at their peak form. I am going to talk of a few Hindi music and film greats that I remember. All of them made an impact.

The sixties and seventies saw a few singers at their greatest form. These include Kishore Kumar, Mohammad Rafi, Manna Dey, Mukesh, Lata Mangeshkar and Asha Bhosle. My favourites were Kishore and Asha, but all of them produced many great songs. There were also heroes at their peak. Rajesh Khanna (Aradhana, Kati Patang, Anand, Aap ki Kasam), Dharmendra (Aadmi aur Insaan, Aankhen, Blackmail, up to Yadon ki Baraat) , Dev Anand (from Jewel Thief to Johny Mera Naam), Sanjeev Kumar (Manchali, Manoranjan, Koshish, Aandhi, Sholay) and so on.

Of course, in music, we had RD Burman, Laxmikant Pyarelal, Kalyanji Anandji who dominated the landscape, with their superhit numbers. Filmmakers in my view included Basu Chatterji (Rajnigandha, Chitchor, Chhoti si Baat, Shaukeen), Hrishikesh Mukherjee (Golmaal, Chupke Chupke), Gulzar (Parichay, Aandhi), and Nasir Husain (Yaadon Ki Baraat, Hum Kisise Kum Nahin), Manmohan Desai (Amar Akbar Anthony, Roti). Govind Nihalani with Aakrosh and Ardh Satya.

In classical Hindustani music, we had Bhimsen Joshi, unparalleled in many ways. In instrumentals, Shiv Kumar Sharma and Hariprasad Chaurasia. whom I have also heard live. Ghulam Ali, Pankaj Udhas and Mehdi Hasan, and Jagjit Singh in ghazals.

I feel fortunate that so many of these artists were at the peak and I along with my friends and contemporaries enjoyed their wonderful performances.


My Comments on the Headline News

There have been, in the past three days, around three or four stories doing the rounds of the news channels on Indian TV. Uncannily, all channels have the same stories. Makes you wonder, in a country of about 1.2 billion, if that is all that is happening. As I speak, a new story, on onion prices, has started doing the rounds. Instead of investigating who is planting the stories (not onions), I will concentrate on the learnings from these news stories.

1. PM goes to Bhutan. This is a masterpiece, because firstly, it improves everyone's general knowlegde. Not many people in the world know where Bhutan is. Heck, many in South Carolina (US) did not know where Florida is. You can imagine what educating India must feel like. TV journos too-educating them, I mean.

2. Preity Zinta, actress, filed a case for harassment and verbal abuse against ex-boyfriend and current business partner, businessman Ness Wadia. Moral of the story seems to be- if you are pretty, don't mess with Ness. Or is it Ness, you don't mess with pretty women? We'll find out.

3. There are murders and rapes happening at the rate of two per day in U.P. Having tried to set up records in many different things, the state has at last established a clear lead in these unsavoury stats - a sad 'state' of affairs. Badayun, made famous by the lyricist Shakeel Badayuni, is at the rough end of the stick.

4. The Kedarnath tragedy (landslide in the mountains) is still producing random bodies, among charges of inadequate rescue and search operations. Moral- venture out there when all your worldly affairs have been settled, because you never know if you'll make it back.

Positivity

There was an air of resignation and frustration in the country (India) during the last three or four years. The rot started at the top. Actually, a downturn in the economy is not the end of the world. Every country has faced one, including The Great Depression of 1929 in much of the Western world. But what accompanied that downturn was a sort of 'waiting for doomsday' attitude among everyone, starting at the top-the PMs' office.

The Modi campaign caught on to this and projected their version of a rosy future (achche din aanewale hain), which got the young voters and old enthused. There was a spurt in voting percentage, and selfies abounded on the social media, showing that someone had voted. Somewhat like the "Yes, we can" campaign that Barack Obama ran.

Now that government formation has happened, all that goodwill must be utilised to do some serious building up of the physical and other infrastructure of the country. The positivity should remain, and be a part of the growth story, before cynicism gets hold of everyone (as it is prone to), and the gains of the campaign are frittered away. This is a great opportunity that the electorate has given- a clearer mandate has never come for good governance to unleash our potential.

Incidentally, Sumitra Mahajan, the Indore M.P. is the Speaker of the Lok sabha. Wishing her good luck and the government good sense!

The Case of the Deadly Butter Chicken- Book Review

This is a Vish Puri mystery- yes, the Dilliwala jasoos created by Tarquin Hall that I had referred to in an earlier post. This is his second book I  read, and I am quite impressed. The Delhi language and mannerisms of all the aunties (particularly the aunties), the guys, the ordinary people 'and all' , is spot on. The mystery is no less.

A dinner guest, father of a Pakistani cricketer, is poisoned in full public view, at a gala dinner after an IPL (name disguised) cricket match. Vish Puri has eaten the same butter chicken that killed him. A lot of big businessmen  and their families are present, and are suspects.

How Vish Puri, aided by his mother (mummy-ji) solves this international crime, involving the betting ring-leader, a paan laced with aconite, a moustache thief who steals the facial hair of the record-holder for the longest 'mouche',  Pak ex-general with a softer side, and the diamond-smuggling syndicate of Gujarat, is the rest of this absorbing story. Tarquin Hall also takes a few cracks at Agatha Christie  (solving a crime in a village of a dozen geriatrics is different from doing so in India, Vish Puri says) and the British people along the way.

A fun read, and I am looking forward to 'The Man Who Died Laughing' next, which I bought with great foresight before I left Delhi a few months ago.

City Lights- Film Review

There was the original Charlie Chaplin film by this name (remade in Hindi as 'Sunayana' starring Rameshwari and Naseeruddin Shah)- and this. This is a remake of a movie called Metro Manila, probably adapted to Mumbai.

The first fifteen minutes are boringly predictable, with the hero being forced to migrate to Mumbai and his being duly cheated out of a large amount of money on arrival. But thereafter, the movie picks up steam, and is unlike most Hindi films- because perhaps it is not a Hindi film originally.

There are pretty good twists and turns that keep you interested, and one man's (actually two, if you count the friend/partner) quest to better their lives, and the consequences (not pleasant for all concerned, but realistic under the circumstances) are worth a look. Patralekha is not bad, Manav Kaul (the partner) is very good. Rajkumar Rao is also pretty decent. One song is well-composed. Reminded me a bit of two films, Gharaonda and Piya ka ghar (with the brilliant song 'Yeh Jeevan hai, is jeevan ka, yehi hai, yehi hai rang roop, thode gham hain, thdi khushiyan') in the seventies and eighties, about Mumbai angst (about housing).

I would have given it a four if the pace initially had been better. As of now, it's a 3.5 on 5.

Postcards from Bali-4

This is the evil spirit-defeating dance called Barong. Somewhat like the masked dragon dances of China. Lot of classical dances feature themes from the Ramayana etc. There is one called the Kecaka, and many others. Watched a few on TV too.

The street food had a unique kind of soup with mysterious ingredients, and a roomali roti-wrapped omelette cut into square box-like shape. Quite tasty. I also tried out Guinness for the first time. Dark-coloured beer from Ireland. Black is beautiful, even here.

The Balinese massage is a bit harder than the Thai one, if mine was anything to go by. But the aromatic cream used was nice.

Went to a coffee factory, and bought some strong coffee called Peaberry. They also do Arabica. It was a brand called Butterfly. There is a very expensive coffee, Luwak, where the bean passes through an animal's intestine, and the enzymes add to the taste. Didn't actually taste it, it was the one referred to by Jack Nicholson in the Bucket List- the film.

My Encounters with Anopheles- Post No. 1000

This is a rerun of my favourite one, to celebrate my 1000th blog post.

My Encounters with Anopheles

I have tried to explore the meaning of what I do in my own way. Part
of that exploration was through this series in which I converse with
Anopheles, the female mosquito who bites.

A mosquito buzzed into my bedroom. I was sleepless anyway, so I started a conversation.
“Where are you from?” I asked.
“From the drain on Street No. 6,” the mosquito replied.
“Do you always have to travel this far for dinner?”
“Not really, but I go for quality food. So I don’t really mind.”
“Tell me something. Is it necessary for you to suck the blood of human beings to survive? Can’t you find some other food?”

The mosquito looked surprised. “The human body has 6 litres of blood on an average. What’s a drop or two for you?”
I replied, “Our sleep is disturbed, for one. And, of course, your bite is, quite literally, A PAIN.”
“Do you really need so much sleep? Why don’t you remain awake and think about things?” the mosquito enquired.
“Like what?” I asked.
“You asked me why I had to draw blood from humans. Have you ever thought about why you slaughter all those animals you use as food? And plants, roots and fruits. Aren’t they life forms too? At least, we don’t totally kill or destroy you. All we do is take a drop of blood, and go. Is that so objectionable? “ the mosquito looked at me questioningly.
That forced me to lie awake and think about the exaggerated notions of the superiority of humankind, before I finally fell asleep- after firmly tucking in the mosquito net.

Episode 2

My bedroom was abuzz. Once again, the same mosquito was with me. I learnt from her this time that she was named Anopheles. After a Greek mosquito goddess. We continued our conversation.
“What do you live for?” I asked.
“For a lot of things. For family, friends and society. And for myself, to enjoy life as much as I can. To realise my potential for doing good.” It was amazing to find a mosquito telling me things which I
thought only humans were capable of thinking about.
“You told me last time you lived in a drain,” I said. “Do mosquitoes always live in drains?”
“Of course not. Some have palatial accommodation. Lakes, ponds, tanks, …even buckets. Depends on what you can afford. And what lifestyle you aspire to have. But if you have grown up in a drain, it
is very difficult to migrate to the lakes. You see, they have a different way of life out there. And they look down upon us.”

This sounded suspiciously like the GREAT CLASS DIVIDE, and I ventured to ask, “But aren’t all mosquitoes born equal?”
She gave me one of those looks. “Are all humans born equal?”
Without waiting for my answer, she went on, “Then why do you think we are?”
After a pause, she added, “There was this reformer, a couple of decades ago, called FULL MARX. He tried to change things so that all mosquitoes would be on par socially and economically. He
painted his revolutionary ideas on walls in his own blood. He called the series “MOS KAPITAL”.
“What happened then?” I asked, with great interest.
“Nothing. He went the way of all revolutionaries. His ideas were too idealistic. The mosquitoes who became powerful wanted to keep the power at all costs, and succeeded. The dreams of a classless society evaporated quickly. Life became worse than before. So his ideas were abandoned, and we are back to the earlier system.” On that sombre note, Anopheles waved me goodbye and sailed away silently.

Episode 3

Anopheles was back with a buzz (and not a bang). Our conversation this time veered around to education. I happened to mention to her that I was a marketing professor, and was surprised to learn
from Anopheles that mosquitoes also have schools.
“How much have you studied?” I enquired of her.
“Not a whole lot, I’m afraid,” she replied. “You see, I have a large family to support. And I am the sole BLOOD WINNER. That leaves hardly any time to study. But I do attend some short courses
from time to time, to keep myself up to date,” she added.
“May I ask what these courses teach?” I was curious.
“Oh, this and that. Some are practical, like the one I attended last week, called ‘Stinging Least to Draw the Most Blood,’ which essentially taught me how to increase the efficiency of a sting. Then
there was another called ‘How to Minimise the Danger of Human Attacks’. Some of them are for fun, like ‘Floating in the Air’ and ‘Swinging From a Single Hair’, or ‘Training Your Young Ones to
Play Hide n’ Seek in Keyholes’.”

“What are the objectives of your formal education system?” I asked her.
“That every little one should grow up to be a good, honest, useful mosquito,” she replied without hesitation.
“To what extent is the objective achieved?” I wanted to know.
“A lot depends on the students themselves. Some are motivated and do well for themselves. Others sleepwalk through their classes and remain unaffected. Yet others put their ‘learning’ to mischievous
uses, and become blots on the mosquito-landscape.”
“Sounds very familiar,” I muttered. “Anyway, let’s change the topic. What do you do for recreation?”
“We create buzzwords. That is our major leisure activity,” she informed me.

“What do you mean?” I couldn’t fathom this one.
“Just what I said. We have individual events, in which each of us buzzes a new buzz. If the panel of judges feels it is original, we enter the final round. The best new buzzword (an accepted new Buzz is
called a buzzword) gets a prize. We also have team events, where a team can work together to create new buzzwords. It’s a lot of fun.”
Anopheles proceeded to demonstrate a new buzzword she had just made up, by flapping her wings musically. “Do you have buzzwords too?” She asked me.
“Yes,” I replied. “But in our case, the objective is different. We create buzzwords so that we can confuse novices (sometimes nonnovices too), and then charge them money to clear their confusion.
For example, take the buzzword “Corporate Restructuring”. Till date, nobody has been able to figure out what it means. The process of explaining what it means has spawned an entire industry - called
Management Consultancy.” On that note, I bade her goodbye, and settled down to some well-earned respite from a ‘buzzy’ day.

Episode 4

My winged friend sailed into my room once more. “What’s on your mind?” I asked her.
“Oh, nothing.” But quickly, she was out of her self-imposed silence. “Tell me, if humans are so smart, why aren’t they happy?”

This was an unexpected googly- a doosra. I tried to counter with a lecture on the longings of all human beings to be one with the supreme being, and their quest for real happiness, but I didn’t
sound convincing to myself. As I had thought, my arguments were instantly rebuffed.
“What are the major differences between your life and mine?” Anopheles asked pointedly.
I had to think hard. “You fly, and I don’t,” I tried.
“Come on, now. Next you will say that you are big and I am small, and that you can read a book and I can’t. Is that all?”
That got me thinking about why we as a human race existed, and all I could think of was the violence, the greed, the crime, the grime and the filth most human beings encounter in their lives. Most of our instincts and higher abilities did not seem to be put to the common good at all.
“I agree we seem to be spending too much time on wars over oil and ideology, …” I stuttered.
“So do animals, over territory or other egoistic pursuits,” she said.
“But we do have a lot of saints who show us the path, and lead righteous lives,” I added.
“How many did you have in the last hundred years?” she asked innocently.

I counted up to four, and gave up. She sensed my discomfort, and
changed the subject.
“OK, let’s talk about the subject of parents setting an example to their children. What do you tell your child to look forward to in life?”
“A job with Infosys,” I joked. I could see a frown of non-understanding on Anopheles’ face (or so I thought).
“That is one of our fastest growing companies,” I added.
“Will that make your child happy?” This was getting tougher than I had imagined.

“I think so,” I said, but I was only half serious about this whole thing. “The only two things ‘happening’ in a child’s life are admission to an engineering college and a job in Infosys after that, it seems,” I continued. “And I don’t know if that’s such a good thing.”
“What do children who join this great company do?” her curiosity was aroused.
“Write some kind of programs- instructions for making computers work”, I said.
“So the homo sapiens want to spend a lifetime writing programs to make the dumb machines work?” I had to agree it sounded ludicrous when it was put like that.
“Well, we also have the BPO sector,” I said.
“And what do young people do there?” she wanted to know.
“Hmm..they answer phone calls, make sales calls, fill out forms dictated by someone across the world, decide whether some applicant should be sold insurance or not, and a million other things.”
“And we thought our life was mundane,” Anopheles could not resist this one.

It was time for me to get into the questioning mode. “Tell me, do you have religions?” I asked her.
“Yes, we do.”
“How many Gods do you have?”
“Oh, lots. We keep imagining as many as we want.” Sounded familiar.
“How do you handle religious extremism?” I was curious to know.
“What is religious extremism?” she asked. I could not believe this.
“Don’t you have people…uh, mosquitoes who want to destroy mosquitoes following another religion, or at least banish them, or something?” I asked.
“Not really, we are very liberal. Our policy is to live and let live.”
“And ours, live and let die,” I muttered, inspired by James Bond.
I was getting late for office, and excused myself. “We’ll meet another time,” I told Anopheles, “and continue our tete a tete.”

Episode 5

I was deep in slumber the other night, when she buzzed me. I thought it was the cellphone, but it was my old friend.
“You don’t talk to me anymore,” she complained.
“It’s not you,” I said. “We don’t talk to anyone, period.”
“Why?” She seemed puzzled.
“Because of Facebook,” I told her.
“What’s that?” She arched her eyebrows.
I said, ‘Every few years, there is a new billionaire who creates something. Actually ‘creates’ is not the right word, because you can’t see his creations, except for a few fleeting seconds. Not made of flesh and blood, like you and me. The latest is this fellow, Zuckerberg by name, who made his billions and half the world has gone crazy. The other half is not on Facebook yet only because there is no electricity in their town.’

‘But what do you do on this Facebook?’ was her innocent question.
‘Well, it’s hard to explain. We post things- I mean, we write stuff about which toothpaste we brushed with, whom we are hanging out with, where we went, whether it rained today, how awful work
is, and so on. And our friends ‘like’ what we write.’
‘How can you call them friends if they ‘like’ your having an awful day at work?’ She remained interrogative.
I tried to defend Zuckerberg (millionaires tend to bring out this quality in non-millionaires). I said, “Well, the ‘Like’ is only an acknowledgement that they read what I wrote. Not that all the stuff is ‘likeable’.”

Not convinced, she asked, “What else?”
I said, “We also go to exotic places and take pics so that we can share them with our friends.”
“You mean the same friends we spoke about?”
“Yeah, the same. They can also ‘like’ photos or make some snide remarks about how you are looking in your new, expensive hair style.”
“And you insist on calling them friends. With friends like these, you don’t need enemies.” She smirked.

I was now curious about where she had gone all these years. So I asked her.
“Oh, life is tough these days.” She became pensive. Continuing, she said, “You know, with trees being chopped and water bodies drying up, it is tough to find places to breed. And pesticides are getting more powerful. Be careful, one day they might affect you. I don’t know why, but human blood does not taste the same any more.”
“May be it’s polluted by all the chemicals, and those pesticides,” I suggested.
“Also, she complained, “Our kids want blood to reach them easy, without having to work for it. Can’t understand the generation.”
That touched a raw nerve. I said, “Let’s discuss this another time. Boss has called an early morning meeting tomorrow.”

And wishing her goodnight, I went back to sleep.

THE END

First Rain?

It's probably the first rain of the 'official' monsoons of 2014. I was kind of surprised at the regularity of the first rain in Nagpur while I lived there. It arrived unfailingly on the 10th or 11th June. So it was in Indore yesterday. There was a strong cool breeze around 5.30 pm, an indication of things to come.  It took a while for the rain to arrive, but it did at about 7.30.

Mood changes probably closely follow the weather, so I am expecting an uplifting month. As the senior MBA (PGDM) students come back on campus, the activity level and the energy levels are up. Classes will be on in full swing. Faculty will have a somewhat tight schedule, compared to the two months gone by which were somewhat relaxed. We will need to put on our thinking caps and device new means of torture- assignments, exams, quizzes, I mean. All good-natured torture, you understand, designed to enhance learning.

We kicked off the academic year with a workshop on new teaching methods, with a few simulation-based package vendors showcasing their wares. A good, innovative start.

Postcards from Bali- 3


In case you thought the beauty of Bali is limited to its natural areas, this set of postcards should dispel the notion. The Balinese women are petite, pretty, and when they dance, very artistic. The first pic shows ritual offerings they make at the temple. Usually, nicely woven bamboo baskets contain the offerings, and a lot of time goes into preparing them. The headgear in the second pic also looks very different.

By the way, a lot of people wear a (frangipani) flower perched on their ear, and it apparently means they have finished prayers- somewhat like our tilak or vibhuti.

Sounds of Bali

The sounds of the words used in Bhasa (language) Indonesia are musical, and some are similar to those used in the Malay language. For instance, Pintu is a gate. Pintu Keberangkatan is the departure gate (at the airport). Jalan is a street, same as in malaysia. We were on Jalan Kartika Plaza, close to Jalan Raya Kuta, in a hotel called Paradiso. This is close to the Kuta beach, where footballers seem to hold sway in the evening. Pertokoan is the word for shops, which when closed have a sign that says Tutup (closed).

At the airport, a sweet voice makes announcements beginning with the words "Prohebian, prohebian," which I assume means "attention, attention."

Pura is a temple, and sari means the essence. Shops selling seafood called themselves "Essence of the sea." Denpasar, Ubud and Sanur are regions on the island, each known for something. My conference was at the Pan Pacific Nirwana Resort  many kilometres away, and among other things has a golf course on the shore next to the sea. Nice conferencing facility, for 4 parallel tracks.

Refreshingly, an Indian rupee goes a long way in Indonesia, as a dollar is equal to about 11000 Rupiah. Figure out the rest.

The Hospitable Hindus of Bali

This is not a religious discourse, but just an element of surprise that fellow Hindus can be so hospitable! Yes, it is a surprise, because I live in a land where tourists are usually taken for a ride, and we are not so hospitable out here. Maybe at one time, but no longer. The Buddhist Thais have beaten us to it by a mile!

The culturally rich Indonesians (judging from Bali)
are certainly more evolved than us, in terms of how they treat their surroundings- they are a lot cleaner, in general. They also revere their mountains, and their offerings at the temples are unique. Even their street decorations for festivals are so attractive yet simple. Best of all, there is no racket and rush to get in to a temple to touch/view the deity, who is inconspicuous. So are the priests. The surrounding courtyards of the temple are maintained beautifully.

A lakeside temple (Ulun danu on lake Beratan in Bedugul) has a spectacular setting, and another temple complex on the sea-shore (Tanah Lot) is breathtaking. See painting in the pic above.

The first sight of the Ngurah Rai airport (named after a young freedom fighter who fought the Dutch colonisers) is lovely, like a postcard. The blue water accompanies you as the plane glides in, running along the airstrip. Boats dotting the water add to the charm. There were flights from Thai, Australian, Chinese and Japanese airliners, but not Indian.

Postcards from Bali- 2


These are pics of two volcanoes, considered sacred in Bali. We went to one called Mount Batur, in Kintamani village, (pic just above). Some fascinating vistas along the drive too, and nature has provided a wonderful green cover to most of the island. Rice fields also dotted some of these landscapes. Found that rice exists in more than one colours- brown and black, for instance.

Postcards from Bali- 1


You are going to be subjected to lots more of this, since I just happened to visit Bali, one of the loveliest places on earth. It is also culturally rich, and may compete with Bhutan for a high Happiness Index, if you know what I mean (I hope I do, at least). First time after Kanyakumari that I got to dip my feet in the Indian Ocean too.

Her- A Surreal Yet Human Movie

Saw a film in-flight on the way back from Bali to Mumbai - a Hollywood film while coming back to Bollywood (nay, follywood, mostly). Good premise, somewhat like the robots in a sci-fi film running amok in many science-horror films. But here, it is an Operating System, custom-designed to one human, that provides the twist. And if the human is male, and the OS female, then love can bloom. And it does.

If we can't understand ourselves (and how many can claim to?), why not let the software do it for you? In any case, except changing diapers, it is already doing most things for us.

Though surreal in its premise, it manages to remain a warm, human film. Scary? Yes, because that may be  a glimpse of the future. gay marriages are passe. Marry the comp.

Comedians as Heads of State

 Seriously (!), it's not such a bad idea. We already have the Ukrainian Prez., the Punjab C.M. and in the past, Trump and Bush (OK, not ...

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