Get a Good Photographer

Yes, I know the trend these days is to take selfies, but I cannot underline enough the need for you to make friends with a good photographer. It can be the difference between you looking like ............ (fill in the blank with whoever you adore) and you looking like Dino Morea (sorry, man, nothing personal).

I have now seen, just by virtue of being on the planet long enough-it's not some special skill- many people who look like celebrities or better, just because of this special friend. In fact, many celebrities would not look like themselves without their Atul Kasbekar-like photographers. Not all of us are fortunate to have great looks which look great under the gaze of any camera at any time, but getting a good photographer friend can result in great pics for all of us...I am not kidding! (The DP award winners might just agree).

A problem with selfies is that they limit your flexibility, apart from turning your image into a mirror-image. But even if you fix that, it's hard to do a few things which a good photographer can do.

I am planning to get one (just to prove that I follow my own advice)- it's never too late! Make this your half-yearly resolution.

Social Media- Misuse and Dangers

I was reading an article yesterday about a Youtube celebrity (female) who went to meet her fans offline. One of her admirers took out a gun, and shot her, and then shot himself at this meet. This is an extreme case, but illustrates that you really don't know too much about online connections, particularly when they are of the "celebrity-admirer" type. Of course, confidence tricksters from around the world have also made their online friends part with money in many cases, some of which have come to light.

An interesting case of a big amount being asked for (and given) by some random person who promised big returns in a short time has happened to someone in my friends' circle, and may not be an isolated case.

There is worse, and one reads about stalkers and predators doing nastier things globally. So it may be wise to be careful, and allow some regulators (not necessarily government, but including govt.) to exercise control, and make privacy laws stringent, so that at least you are protected to an extent. Of course, be careful whom you befriend online.

Lalithaa Jewellery- Advertising Strategy

 The biggest thing to hit Hyderabad, it seems, is a bald guy trying to persuade people to buy jewellery at a store called Lalithaa Jewellery. The pic above shows him. These hoardings are all over the city, and you can't miss them. The shot below is of the huge store at the Somajiguda junction. Great advertising, which urges consumers to take an estimate for any piece of jewellery along with a pic of the same, and go compare prices at a few OTHER stores..and buy wherever they find the best value/price. Giving celebrity ads a run for their money.

Forecasting in Life

The ability to forecast is interesting. It can also be scary. If you knew what would happen to everyone around you accurately, you may be scared to tell them. If you knew what would happen to you, you might be even more so. Ignorance is bliss, in a way.

But more than clairvoyance, it takes observation and experience to make reasonably good predictions about our actions and their consequences, I think. For example, it requires no genius to figure that if you study well, you will do well on an exam. Or that sooner or later, the electorate will get fed up with the party in power and throw it out (in a democracy). That a husband and wife will quarrel. That a marriage will produce kids (in spite of the above quarrels). That a woman will do the household work (at least for another century in India).

Further, that 90% of the celebrity gurus will one day get caught in a scam or a fraud. Actually, make that celebrities and people in positions of power (political, economic or other kinds). The good ones may never (want to) be celebrities. That people will Copy and Paste if they can get away with it. That handwriting is a vanishing art ( I am reading a book about this, more on that later).

That lawyers, to survive, need someone to fight a case against someone else. Judges, ditto. Dentists would be out of work if everyone maintained discipline in eating and drinking habits. Coke would fold up if Americans (and their ad agency) did not exist. Potato production would drop if Germans did not exist. Or, that Abhishek B. will never learn to act. Nor will Arnab learn to listen.

And finally, that I would stop writing this blog if I was the only one reading it. 

Celebrities and Surnames- A Correlation Study

What are the chances of your becoming a celebrity with the surname Mishra? Gurnani? Gopalan? Almost zero. But a Kapoor in your surname would increase your chances by a million times. A Khan in your last name, by a zillion times (Saif and Irrfan in addition to the triumvirate).

Celebrity-hood sits as easily on a non-Khan too. Not convinced? Khan (Na) is a powerful surname, shared by the first 'superstar' Rajesh and then Vinod, and his son Akshaye. (Sur)name yourself Raman, and you may become the big boss of Physics or Maths, but a name like Padukone would catapult you into the big league of Badminton or Bollywood.

Some other powerful surnames are Bhosle, Bachchan, Kumar (Manoj, Rajendra "jubilee" Kumar, "jaani" Raj Kumar, and my all time favourite Kishore), Burman, Dutt, Mehra, Desai, Parekh, Roshan, Samanta (the producer-director), Rai (both the Northern and the Mangalorean versions), Shah (Kundan directed Jaane Bhi do Yaaro, the cult comedy), Kher, Bajpai, Sharma (Kapil is my favourite comic)

Saving the best for the last- the legend Tendulkar, and the biggest of all, Gaekwad. Why? That's the real surname of Rajnikanth.

Detain A Celebrity- A New Game

Immigration clerks are a bored lot. Day after day (or night after night), they look at passport photos (in itself a depressing sight), and ask some dumb questions to passengers who are about to slip out of their grasp. So what do they do?

Invent a game, of course. It's called detain a celebrity. Why should only cops who bust gangs of smugglers or a haul of opium hog all the limelight? Just detain a celebrity for an hour or two, and you can appear on national TV- without any talent whatsoever, not even needing to proclaim your love for Mother Tersa, and wanting to save the starving children in Sub-saharan Africa (where is that?).

So the game is on. First Abdul Kalam, for sporting a suspicious hair-style, and Shah Rukh, for laughing in a kinky manner, to Kamal Haasan, for appearing to be a good actor (and therefore, having things to hide). But forgetting an important dialogue in the process. Khel tumne shuru kitya hai mere dost, magar ise khatam main karoonga. Wah, wah. Taaliyan.