Indexes for Personal Life

Indexes like the Stock Market and Wholesale Price/Consumer Price are critical to a man's well-being. But why stop there? I have developed the following indexes (patents pending) for helping measuring your own well-being. No, it's Ok. You don't have to thank me.

Health Index: Inverse of the No. of antibiotics you popped in the last six months, plus inverse of the no. of doc visits in the last six months

Relationships Index: No. of ships of various kinds that you are into, minus those that you are out of

Relative-control Index: (No. of relatives in close proximity with micro-level hyper control syndrome) to the power of 'N', where N is the no. of such relatives

Happiness Index: Average No. of  likes on your last five facebook statuses and/or cover photos, added to the blog viewership of your last ten blog posts, minus no. of real meetings with your friends.

Unhappiness Index: No. of scheming mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, shouting news anchors, experts on TV debates, repairmen of any kind that you encountered in the last 24 hours, all added together. Add 20 points to this if you watched Himesh Reshamiya on the small screen.

Kejriwal Index- Closely related to the above. Number of times you watched Kejriwal's antics on TV. This is independently capable of causing Unhappiness or Mirth depending on how you look at it.


Dheeraj Mohan Warrier said...

Truly out of the box...

Rajendra said...

Thanks, Dheeraj. I got rid of 'the box' a while ago, as it was contributing to the Unhappiness Index!

Diamond Head said...

Now if we can only find a Standard or Poor person who is not Moody to ratify these we can package them up and sell to highest bidder who can leverage all their options while hedging downside risk.

Rajendra said...

yes, we can then finish the job someone started in 2008 at Lehmann et. al.

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