Aircraft Maintenance Jokes

I hope these are jokes, or else I will be scared to fly from here onwards..These are logs of complaints by pilots and responses by maintenance crews.

Complaint- Something loose in the cockpit.
Response- Something tightened in cockpit.

C- Suspected crack in windshield.
R- Suspect you are right.

C- Mouse in cockpit.
R- Cat installed.

C- DME volume unbelievably loud.
R- Volume set to more believable level.

C- IFF inoperative.
R- IFF is always inoperative in Off Mode.

Comments

Diamond Head said…
This airline got zero stars- well it only services our planet
February 9, 2016 at 8:11 AM
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These Were Liked a Lot

You Can Never Find a Rickshaw When it Monsoons

Believe it or not, that is the title of a book, and it's not written by an Indian. The book is actually a set of cartoons drawn by a world traveller, and has a foreword by Dave Barry, the funny man. The title got me curious, and I flipped through a few pages at the bookstore, and flipped for it.

It has a unique set of drawings of whatever Mo Willems of New York University, upon graduating and travelling across the world, felt he ought to draw. So whatever he remembered most from his day got drawn, with a commentary added on, sometimes a sentence or two, sometimes just a phrase or comment.

A different kind of book, for sure, and a very entertaining glimpse of mankind, from Indonesia to New Orleans, USA. By the way, I was in New Orleans once (or twice), and still remember it as a party place par excellence- there were some horse-riding cops around and streets barred to traffic- pedestrians only- and many other interesting things, including their unique Cajun food. India is also incl…
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Descriptive Names

Some names that are descriptive, or serve a larger purpose-

Yelliah- he yells.

Delilah- works in a Deli.

Malliah- works at the mall.

Telliah- works at a bank.

Gorbachev- Does the Gorba (Gujjus beware- there's also a che in his name).

Bharat- gives Mr. Manoj Kumar a complex.

Mark- he is always one up on you.

David Lean- programmed not to put on weight.

Javagal Srinath- his bowling got your jaw if you weren't careful.

Sivagami- India's answer to Origami.

Rasputin-sounds like a competitor to Frooti.




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Comic Dialogue

Hindi film comedies or otherwise from which I remember funny dialogues-

From Sholay

Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti?

From Jaane Bhi Do Yaro

Yeh kya ho raha hai?

Aadha khao, aadha pheko, yeh Switzerland ka cake hai.

Bahut advanced country hai- hum dekha, udhar peene ka pani alag, gutter ka pani alag.

Shaant, gada-dhari Bheem, shaant.

Hum honge kaamyaab, hum honge kaamyaab ek din..

From Padosan

Tum humko ghoda bola?
Ek pe rehna jee, ya ghoda bolo ya chatur bolo

Mogambo khush hua (villain Amrish Puri delivers this)

Aap hamara kitna khayal rakhti hain..Nahane ke pani mein kewda, peene ke pani mein bewda (Mehmood in Naukar)
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Airport Art

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Airports generally have a lot of advertising- for tourism, or cosmetics, or for their own duty-free shops if international. But depicting your culture through airport art is an art..and Mumbai airport Terminal 2 seems to have done a lot of it right. The murals on its walls are good at showing Indian motifs - sample these.






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Strictly Speaking

I am not strict, but I like the expression, though I am not sure what it means. Anyway, having got that out of the way, I will try and make some observations. As you can see, I am in the mood...

Strictly speaking, none of us is really busy. Just lazy, and trying to avoid things/people we don't like.

There is nothing at the end of the rainbow. But it's nice to imagine that there is.

We are not the most intelligent species, if you count the number of years we work- or the fact that we invented work.

News is really not news, most of the time.

A celebrity minus the hype is just you, or the guy/gal next door trying to fit in with the expectations of more people than you and I are.

Film-makers run out of ideas pretty quickly. That explains sequels.

Ok, I don't want the Earth to shatter just now, so I will stop here..for now.






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Resolute Resolutions

Why do resolutions have to be year-end ones?

Here are 5 mid-year ones, approx. half-way through this year.

1. I will be relaxed about everything. Does not mean in a hammock-it's all in the mind.

2. I will appreciate people a bit more..I find it challenging, so I guess this needs to be worked on.

3. I will try something new each time I teach..generally do, but need to be steadfast.

4. Try new research methods..qualitative in addition to the usual.

5. Write better blog posts..see, I am already trying the last one out. :)

..and continue the good things like the Best DP awards, in case you are apprehensive..
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Worrisome Worries

Ok, I am getting philosophical. But natural, one would say, coz I am a Doctor of Philosophy.

But I am serious. We worry too much, and don't listen to the song "Don't worry, be happy" enough.

We worry about the future, when the present calls out and says, "I am here."

We worry about what we don't have (and possibly, the neighbours do have), forgetting that we do have a lot.

We worry about the world, which seems to have taken care of itself since we were born. And probably will do so..

We worry about the potholes, and the jackasses who drive like crazy.

We worry about things we have no control over, and discuss them to death. Such as, "Who will win the IPL?"

We'd e better off worrying less, and doing (or ot doing) more.


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