Aircraft Maintenance Jokes

I hope these are jokes, or else I will be scared to fly from here onwards..These are logs of complaints by pilots and responses by maintenance crews.

Complaint- Something loose in the cockpit.
Response- Something tightened in cockpit.

C- Suspected crack in windshield.
R- Suspect you are right.

C- Mouse in cockpit.
R- Cat installed.

C- DME volume unbelievably loud.
R- Volume set to more believable level.

C- IFF inoperative.
R- IFF is always inoperative in Off Mode.

Comments

Diamond Head said…
This airline got zero stars- well it only services our planet
February 9, 2016 at 8:11 AM
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These Were Liked a Lot

You Can Never Find a Rickshaw When it Monsoons

Believe it or not, that is the title of a book, and it's not written by an Indian. The book is actually a set of cartoons drawn by a world traveller, and has a foreword by Dave Barry, the funny man. The title got me curious, and I flipped through a few pages at the bookstore, and flipped for it.

It has a unique set of drawings of whatever Mo Willems of New York University, upon graduating and travelling across the world, felt he ought to draw. So whatever he remembered most from his day got drawn, with a commentary added on, sometimes a sentence or two, sometimes just a phrase or comment.

A different kind of book, for sure, and a very entertaining glimpse of mankind, from Indonesia to New Orleans, USA. By the way, I was in New Orleans once (or twice), and still remember it as a party place par excellence- there were some horse-riding cops around and streets barred to traffic- pedestrians only- and many other interesting things, including their unique Cajun food. India is also incl…
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Comic Dialogue

Hindi film comedies or otherwise from which I remember funny dialogues-

From Sholay

Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti?

From Jaane Bhi Do Yaro

Yeh kya ho raha hai?

Aadha khao, aadha pheko, yeh Switzerland ka cake hai.

Bahut advanced country hai- hum dekha, udhar peene ka pani alag, gutter ka pani alag.

Shaant, gada-dhari Bheem, shaant.

Hum honge kaamyaab, hum honge kaamyaab ek din..

From Padosan

Tum humko ghoda bola?
Ek pe rehna jee, ya ghoda bolo ya chatur bolo

Mogambo khush hua (villain Amrish Puri delivers this)

Aap hamara kitna khayal rakhti hain..Nahane ke pani mein kewda, peene ke pani mein bewda (Mehmood in Naukar)
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Strictly Speaking

I am not strict, but I like the expression, though I am not sure what it means. Anyway, having got that out of the way, I will try and make some observations. As you can see, I am in the mood...

Strictly speaking, none of us is really busy. Just lazy, and trying to avoid things/people we don't like.

There is nothing at the end of the rainbow. But it's nice to imagine that there is.

We are not the most intelligent species, if you count the number of years we work- or the fact that we invented work.

News is really not news, most of the time.

A celebrity minus the hype is just you, or the guy/gal next door trying to fit in with the expectations of more people than you and I are.

Film-makers run out of ideas pretty quickly. That explains sequels.

Ok, I don't want the Earth to shatter just now, so I will stop here..for now.






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Worrisome Worries

Ok, I am getting philosophical. But natural, one would say, coz I am a Doctor of Philosophy.

But I am serious. We worry too much, and don't listen to the song "Don't worry, be happy" enough.

We worry about the future, when the present calls out and says, "I am here."

We worry about what we don't have (and possibly, the neighbours do have), forgetting that we do have a lot.

We worry about the world, which seems to have taken care of itself since we were born. And probably will do so..

We worry about the potholes, and the jackasses who drive like crazy.

We worry about things we have no control over, and discuss them to death. Such as, "Who will win the IPL?"

We'd e better off worrying less, and doing (or ot doing) more.


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Favourite Songs

Hindi film songs- a list of favourites.

Yeh dil na hota bechara, kadam na hote awara

Dil aaj shaayar hai gham aaj naghma hai

Hai apna dil to awara, na jaane kis pe aayega

Hey, maine kasam li, hey, tune kasam li, nahin honge judaa hum..

Chala jaata hoon kisiki dhun mein.

O mere dil ke chain.

Tum kitni khoobsoorat ho yeh mere dil se poochho.

Tum mile pyar se mujhe jeena gawara hua.

Zindagi ke safar mein guzar jate hain jo makaam, woh phir nahin aate

Aap ki aankhon mein kuch mehke hue se khwab hain

Khwab ho tum ya koi haqeeqat..

Are yaar meri tum bhi ho gazab ghoonghat to zara odho.

Ek pal ka jeena phir to hai jaana.

Aanewala pal jaanewala hai..

Kai baar yun bhi dekha hai yeh jo man ki seema rekha hai

Seene mein jalan aankhon mein toofan sa kyun hai, is sheher mein har shakhs pareshan sa kyun hai.

Kehna hai, kehna hai, aaj tumse yeh pehli baar

Gore rang pe na itna guman kar, gora rang do din mein dhal jayega

Meri neendon mein tum mere khwabon mein tum

Hum the woh thi aur smaa rangeen sa…
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Coimbatour

Image
Prof Poongodi at KCT, with guess which book? My Marketing Research book that she uses. Another pic with KCT faculty in front of their institute.
I had an occasion to go to Coimbatore on invitation recently. A bustling city, with a lot of entrepreneurs in and around. Tirupur is not too far away. Textiles are a speciality. Lots of educational institutes too. One such is KCT, where I spent some time with students and faculty. Founded by a Gandhian, the institute has an autonomous MBA program, and a couple of technical programs.

Met my friend Dhanapal, who runs a couple of schools in the town. We worked for a few years at Kirloskar Institute in the past, and have remained in touch. Golf is a common interest, and we have gone to Kodaikanal and Munnar to play too-unfortunately this time there wasn't time.

Coimbatore is also a gateway to Ooty and Coonoor, where I had been recently on a vacation trip, and to play Golf. I first went to Ooty on a KSTDC tour bus in the 70s, and remember ea…
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Descriptive Names

Some names that are descriptive, or serve a larger purpose-

Yelliah- he yells.

Delilah- works in a Deli.

Malliah- works at the mall.

Telliah- works at a bank.

Gorbachev- Does the Gorba (Gujjus beware- there's also a che in his name).

Bharat- gives Mr. Manoj Kumar a complex.

Mark- he is always one up on you.

David Lean- programmed not to put on weight.

Javagal Srinath- his bowling got your jaw if you weren't careful.

Sivagami- India's answer to Origami.

Rasputin-sounds like a competitor to Frooti.




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