A Dictionary of Sorts- Part 3

Exchequer- Title conferred upon men after marriage; if he doesn't oblige with the cheques, he becomes an ex.

Espouse- a wife one discovers on the internet.

Electric chair- where convicts come to a shocking conclusion.

Density- what Newton suffered from before gravity cured him.

Derail- to boldly take a train where no track has gone before.

Debar- to forcibly drag a husband away from the pub.

Date- a system of numbering days. Go on a date, and your days are numbered.

Crematorium- a place to satisfy your burning desires.

If you want more, read the book. PV Subramaniam's 'Dictionary of English: The Udder Side'.

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