Election Manifesto

Since it is approaching election time, I propose a manifesto that can be adopted by any forward-looking party.

Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha will be shut down. We will save 2000 crores by doing this, and 20,000 crores on the elections as a bonus.

We will have an Indian Idol competition to select one lawmaker (judged by Karan Johar, Kajol and Kumar Sanu), who rules till the next season. One sidekick is also selected from among the losers to assist him. This will restore the dying viewership of this boring program.

All citizens have two choices. They watch IPL matches or Ekta Kapoor serials. These will be played/manufactured/fixed regularly. Production licenses will be auctioned, with the reserve price (minimum bid) being fixed at half of India's GDP. Both together will make up our whole GDP. (Arnab will be gagged, just in case you are wondering.)

There will be no work, only fun- of two kinds, defined above. Everyone will be happy, and all our problems would be solved.

Please vote for our party.

What if?

I saw a forward today that inspired this post. It said, "What if Sooraj Barjatya made realistic films?'
Actually, many more what ifs come to mind. Ponder these-

1. What if ads started telling the truth, especially baldness cure ads?
2. What if James Bond were named Johnson Braithwaite by Ian Fleming?
3. What if Arnab Goswami started talking sense, or stopped talking?
4. What if Karan Johar started asking intelligent questions on his show? 
5. What if film directors edited their movies by cutting irrelevant scenes/songs/fights?
6. What if trees and flowers did not exist?
7. What if monks and householders exchanged places?
8. What if maids became memsahibs?
9. What if PMs became chaiwalas?
10. Most terrible, what if all books disappeared from the face of the earth?

Monali Thakur as Lakshmi- Film Review

This is the latest from Nagesh Kukunoor, who hit the bull's eye with Hyderabad Blues many years ago, and made films such as Dor and Iqbal after that.

Lakshmi is a very well-made film about Prevention of Immoral Trafficking (PITA) and its implementation, or (more often) lack thereof. Based on several true incidents, it is a part-fictionalised story of the resoluteness of one girl sold by her father into the flesh trade run through the support of powerful people.

What makes this film special is the heroine, Monali Thakur. She brings in the innocence and expressiveness that instantly get you on her side. She acts like a veteran in a role of a life-time, that many actresses never got in theirs careers. Hats off to her. The difficult subject is scripted and handled well, without distractions.

Other cast and characters are good too. Satish Kaushik, Ram Kapoor, Shefali Shah and Kukunoor himself, stand out. Monali's roommate at the brothel also does a great job.

An excellent movie that makes you think. Do watch it.

Narayanamurthy and Nagesh Kukunoor visit IIM Indore

The Narayanamurthy interaction was unplanned. It was prompted by Mr. Murthy being here for laying the foundation stone for his company's Indore office. He told us that he'd done the same at Nagpur yesterday. Looks good for both cities. IT is coming to them. Both cities are nice to live in, and the young IT crowd will make it more vibrant.

He was brilliant in fielding questions from students of the Exec Program and the PGP. He also did not hold back his punches, when he said we have wasted ten years in governing wrongly, but inspired the students  by saying they could still do it- transform the country by being disciplined and putting country before self.

His analysis was backed by solid examples. He lamented that the coaching classes had killed IITs. He also presented his views on attrition at Infosys and laid the blame on the top management for ills at the bottom.

Nagesh Kukunoor was invited by students conducting Mridang, the campus fest. His film Lakshmi was screened before the interaction with him. More on the film later.

There is no Superman

As you grow up, you discover things about the world. At first, you think there is a Santa Claus. He comes every Christmas, and brings you gifts. Then, you discover that he does not exist.

Then, you discover that Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse and Goofy also don't exist.  Would be fun to have a talking mouse and duck, I think. Would beat some of the boring humans I know.

By and by, you also discover that Richie Rich exists, but that it is not you.

But you still believe in Superman. For saving the world, there is no one like him. But then, it is a big blow to discover that he is a figment of someone's imagination.

The consolation is that you find people who are changing the world, and that you can do it too, in a small way.

Are you Experienced? - Book Review

Travel lends itself to humour. This book is humourous. That's a great plus in these times. The hero is a British teenager, cocky, and ignorant about the world. He has a year to spend 'discovering himself' before entering university, and nowhere to go. So he falls into a trap, and goes with the suggestion of his friend's girlfriend that he should accompany her on a three-month India trip. What happens during these months, starting from a crappy guest house in Delhi, to a "smoking joint" in the North (Manali), to many other places (Kovalam, Goa, Bangalore) is the rest of the story.His interest is strictly physical, and hers, apparently over-the-board, spiritual. He half-succeeds, and then she ditches him for a spiritually advanced duo, just back from a lepers' colony and headed to a yoga ashram. The arguments between these two are quite entertaining.

Some of the observations about India (like their set of three questions to him, always ending with "Are you married?") are quite funny. Even funnier is when an English journalist he meets on a train rips him apart for his empty-headedness. The takes on the yoga guru finding the "centre" of his disciples are quite believable, given recent scams in this territory.

There is an Indian from England trying to escape his own arranged marriage and have fun while he can, and a kind Dutchman who helps him recover from the Bangalore belly after eating a burger there.

Snobbery

Snobbery was a preserve of the elite (read English Lords/Ladies, Royalty, Page 3 crowd) once. Not so today. Anyone can be a snob, due to the democratised universe that we inhabit today.

I tried my hand at it the other day. Someone offered me a drink. I took one look at it, turned my nose up and said, "This is not a single malt." As if I had been born with a silver tap pouring single malts in my mouth.

It had no impact on the guy who had offered me a drink. "Take it or leave it" he said. So I swallowed my pride, and then some.

Then I tried it in a conversation about sports the other day. Cricket, as usual, threatened to dominate the conversation, so I saw an opportunity arising for some snobbery.

I said, "Cricket used to be a gentleman's game, but what with the big money and 'quick-fixes', it is one for the rogues. Golf, on the other hand, remains pristine, a true gentleman's game."

"Oh yes, only, there are a few ladies involved off-course with the gentlemen sometimes," an unpleasant guy in the group retorted. Since the evidence had been all over the newspaper tabloids over a prolonged period, I couldn't stick to my stand and revel in my sports snobbery.

Then I tried the ultimate trump card- country snobbery. I was in a crowd of mixed nationalities, and I tried the age-old trick of talking about age-old achievements of our country in various fields of human knowledge and endeavour.

"We had some great mathematicians, you know, like Aryabhatta, and many down the ages."

The response was swift and unexpected. "Why do you need a great mathematician to compute the single digit growth rate of your GDP today? You are Ok with learning some basic arithmetic, right?"
I was nonplussed, and vowed to come back with some excellent rejoinder to restore the snob's pride of place. I am still thinking...