Having a Blast

I think English training will solve our modern world's problems. The British went away and left a vacuum (not a black hole physically). Of language, or the Queen's English, nice and propah, if you know what I mean. Why, I would have sworn things were quite hunky dory while they were here, and everywhere.

I propose they come right back, and train all these modern murderers of their pristine language on how to go about speaking and writing- if necessary, get started on Wren and Martin. If you can't distinguish a past participle from a green pea, or worse, if you confuse green peas (bless my heart) with Greenpeace of the protesting type, you don't deserve to ever eat the stuff again. Confound it, I don't know why I go on and on about the greenery, whereas what I wanted to talk about was the damn blasts.

Now, if every youngster in town keeps saying "Let's go and have a blast", what do you suppose the young terrorist would do? Yes, you are right, he'd get up and go for a training class in the neighbourhood, right? Right. Not because of any animosity towards innocent people, but because he'd been brought up to believe that others were doing the same for fun. These blasted youngsters, you know, they get carried away by what the other youngsters are doing around them,. And it's such a simple thing to correct. Just teach everyone that having a blast is so..well, colloquial, and does not mean using Ammonium Nitrate. And all will be well.