How to Deal with Marriage

Being a conventional guy, I will stick to hetero marriages. So, there is a guy and a gal. They get married. You are one of them. You have to live happily ever after (I think till death do us part is the Western version). So how do you do it?

If you are the girl (wife)-

1. You don't expect any help. If you get it, you praise the giver.
2. You don't criticise his choice-of anything. He chose you, right?
3.  Sports- it's not his fault. He has limited things on which he can sustain a conversation. Why take that away from him? Enjoy if you can, ignore if you can't.
4. Shopping is a lethal word to use. Steal his card if you must, but never suggest going out shopping. Eating out maybe, but NOT shopping. And don't brag about what you bought. It will have no impact.
5. Have a comfortable couch in the house. If you have to have a potato, might as well treat him right.

If you are the Guy (Husband)-

1. Tell her she looks beautiful, approximately every three hours.
2. Never ask why she wants to shop. It's genetic, like your love of beer.
3. If she cooks, eat without complaining. These days, not many can or will.
4. Mumble answers to razor-edged questions involving body fat, comparison with others of her species, or similarly sensitive ones involving choice of clothes. Anything decipherable may be used as evidence against you-till death does you part..
5. Never criticise your in-laws.

May you live happily ever after this..

Comments

Diamond Head said…
Couch potatoes are out. Chair Pears are in.

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