Tragedy at Sivakasi

There was an explosion and fire which killed around 40 people at a firecracker factory in Tamilnadu a couple of days ago. Now this appears to be a man-made disaster linked to our desire to see a lot of fire and smoke. As kids, we were fascinated by 'bombs' during Diwali celebrations- the louder the better. They came with names like Laxmi bomb, atom bomb etc., and you were generally considered a hero if you could light one of them.

But the adult manifestation of this childhood fascination is what worries me more. Wars are what I am talking about. The Middle East, Romania, and many more examples exist of this tendency. We seem to erupt into war at the drop of a hat. Iran is perpetually on the boil, at least from a war-mongering perspective. The first question that comes to mind is naturally, shouldn't you be worrying about domestic problems and fix them, before you go out and 'conquer the world'? Secondly, if you do conquer it, what are you going to do with it? Colonial cousins have proved in the past that it is a mug's game, and that once you loot a nation's wealth, you have little use for it. Governing a difficult country is a nightmare (even your own, forget an alien one).

So what is it with our fascination for wars and closer home, to firecrackers? Kids at least have an excuse..that they are yet to grow up.

One Solution to Global Economic Woes

I don't understand what the fuss is about, in Europe, in the U.S. and elsewhere. You have an easy solution and also have the core competence to implement it. It will solve at one shot all the economic problems (and a few more). The solution is - BUILD MORE MALLS. Building railway lines for economic recovery is passe.

The social and economic benefits of building malls are many.

1. People remain in an airconditioned environment when inside a mall, and therefore, are cool.

2. Malls reduce people's intelligence levels, and hence their questioning ability. So it's good politically!

3. They are lulled into a sense of well-being while inside.

4. If they actually shop, it directly increases the country's GDP, creating jobs for people who have to man/woman the counters.

5. It boosts the (mall) construction industry, even if nothing else happens.

Merkel, Obama, and co., I hope you are listening!

Salt- Review of the Film

It is an ultimate comedy. Highly recommended if you have not seen it. I am prejudiced about Angelina Jolie, yes, I think her lips are too big. But that's besides the point. I am impartial to this fact while reviewing this film.

There is a CIA agent. She is also a KGB agent. She kills the Russian president when she is acting like a Russian agent in the US. And she almost kills the US president through her stupidity while he is being held captive by the guy who is the KGB agent in the guise of a CIA agent. Then, the two KGB agents/CIA agent have a jolly (can't resist this pun) good shot at each other. Finally, Jolie wins, coz she kills the other guy- not the president, unfortunately (he looked eminently expendable).

Now don't tell me you are confused. Because, if you treat this as a comedy, all will be well. Do we really need presidents? Or CIA agents? KGB agents? What purpose do they serve in the overall scheme of things? These and other high level philosophical questions may bother you for a few moments. But don't let that come in the way of enjoying this rip-roaring comedy, with a Jolie even more indestructible than Arnold and Sylvester put together. Lol! ROFL!

Silly Translations

We used to play a game when we were teenaged and somewhat (?) silly. This involved literally translating Hindi film songs into English. It led to a number of hilarious phrases or lines, and served our purpose, which was to laugh uncontrollably. Don't know if that'll happen, but here is an attempt at the same skill applied to the same raw material, but with  the silliness improved by age and experience. Laughter therapy instead of chicken soup.

Film titles-

Laughing Injuries- Hanste Zakhm

Chor Machaye Shor- Thief Makes Noise

Pyaasa- Thirsty guy

Dil Deke Dekho- Give your Heart and See

Who am I Yours?- Hum Aapke Hain Kaun?

And a song to add to the repertoire-

This, what happened, how happened, why happened- Yeh kya hua, kaise hua, kyon hua

P.S. There was a variation of this with Telugu translations of English movie titles too, like The Deep becoming Lothu Ramudu and Mackenna's Gold becoming Yenkanna Bangaram!

London Met

London Metropolitan is not a metro train, but a college. It now stands derecognised. Earlier, it was Tri-valley, which is not a valley, but a college. And it was shut down. Not in a third world country, but in the UK and the US, in the last one year. There was also a curious case of some UK college (TASMAC?) operating in India being shut down from the UK. And a couple of them in Singapore facing the axe (not the deodarant with a provocative ad).

Moral of the story? Education can be a scam anywhere around the world. We don't have a monopoly on them. We must learn to live with them in some way. And compete.. and devise strategies to develop newer education scams that won't be shut down in a jiffy. Otherwise, how can we prove to the first world that we have indeed, arrived?

Sharabi Arthur- The Reincarnation

While aimlessly flipping channels, Arthur caught my attention, and I watched most of it. What I found most engaging was the dialogue. I would rate it as superb, in these days of mediocre use of the language. As Wodehouse has demonstrated countless times, language itself can be great fun, when you know what to do with it.

Of course, it is a remake of the 80s phenomenon (in India at least, among college students of my ilk) starring Dudley Moore as the rich brat and John Gielgud as his butler, friend and philosopher (Jeeves?). It was a very good film, and Prakash Mehra promptly remade it, adding songs et al, as Sharaabi, which was not bad too.

This one stars Russell Brand (I saw him for the first time, but I am told he is a comic), and he was Ok. The nanny's role is the most powerful, and is played well by Helen Mirren. Though it's a predictable plot (which one isn't?), it's a fun watch, if only to recall your college years as a side-effect. The other hot movie of those times with Dudley Moore in it was '10'. That also starred Bo Derek (!).

Ungodly Barbs- This is not Cricket

In Indian cricket, there is a God. His name (like mine) ends in a 'kar'. There was, in the early years (of my watching or rather hearing it on radio) of cricket in India, another God, whose name also ended in a 'kar'. Will not need a lot of intelligence to figure these two out. So far, so good.

Only, now, it seems there's trouble in paradise. Some people say that we create gods. If that's true, they must reflect our realities to some extent, plus of course, some imagination. Anyway, coming back to the trouble at hand, it seems God Sr. has raised questions about God Jr. (also sometimes called master blaster) and his age and related faculties, like eyesight and resultant footwork. These acute observations came during an obtuse innings that he played in the ongoing Test match against the New Zealanders, who got him bowled by bowling very 'zeal'ously.

Now, God Sr. was known to have tackled the bouncers as well as the googlies, but also has a record of having scored the slowest runs in a match, putting him in the category of the Geoff Boycotts for whom it was a left handed game (sorry, baayen haath ka khel, literally). So is it the case of the pot calling the kettle names?

Hope the Kohlis and the Pujaras get us out of this ungodly mess (someone has to), and we continue to have Gods to worship. What if they are new ones?