Education Seminar at Sohna

I attended a seminar on higher education at an upcoming Haryanvi town of Sohna, beyond Gurgaon yesterday. It was organised (very well) by a media company called nine dot nine floated by the erstwhile Dean of ISB, Pramath Sinha, and his team.

The town of Sohna, about 25 kms. from Gurgaon is reported to be another Gurgaon in the making. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. Anyway, the venue was the Westin at Sohna. Why Westin went east into this place is a question, but having got there, they have managed well. The food was excellent- they had an Italian-Spanish mix of some yummy stuff the names of which I can't begin to remember.

The turnout at the seminar was good, ranging from the ex-chairman of UGC, to a lot of Vice Chancellors, of private and public universities. I also ran into an IIMB alum from three batches after mine. Many new business ideas were apparent from various sponsors of the seminar. Adobe, Oracle, Naukri.com and so on.

The best presentation was by the founder of FLAME, a liberal arts school in Pune, Parag Shah. He explained 'Dil se' (from his heart, literally) the reasons and reasoning that went into founding the 4 year degree program-offering institution. He is also a builder, and has built some real estate including a golf course around the school. But his philosophy of how to combine music and mathematics in the same school on the lines of similar institutions in the West struck a lot of chords. Of course, he had Dr. Indira Parikh, former IIMA professor, to help him as the Dean to implement his ideas. True innovation, in the way courses are offered in different streams, and students grow up as a complete person, rather than as an engineer or doctor. Great idea, I would say.

Vicky Donor- Film Review

An endearing film. The way it handles the subject of sperm donation interwoven into a story of two love-hit souls is itself great. But it is in the mould of the Basu Chatterji movies in terms of its handling of characters, story-telling, etc.. And that IS a compliment.

The lead actors are fresh and unstarry, and that helps a lot. Had Shah Rukh and Kareena been in it, it may have depreciated the value of this film. Ayushman Khurana as the typical nice Punjabi boy next door, and Yami Gautam (she's yummy- can't resist the cliched word) as the Bangalan whose dad can't think beyond Chittaranjan Park ( I live in CR Park!), add a lot to the film's charm, as do Annu Kapoor as the doc, and all other bit players- the Bong dad, the Panju mom and grandmom who disagree with each other on almost everything, are heart-warming in their simplicity (or the lack of it in the wedding ceremony).

A must watch, and kudos to Shoojit Sircar for directing it, the lady who wrote it for the story, and John Abraham for producing (and not acting) in it.

Sitting Idle

I suddenly had a thunder and lightning revelation. That a lot of people are just sitting around the whole day, doing almost nothing. And that might well be what they are supposed to do, in some cases at least.

Single shop owners in a mom and pop store, restaurant cashiers, chowkidars (watchmen or 'security' as they are mistakenly addressed), and so on. These guys are sitting around all day, except when a customer/visitor disturbs them. Maybe in the newer organised retail stores, they stand rather than sit. Or re-arrange the inventory, or clean the shelves.

Drivers is another category: their lives must be boring as hell, when they are not driving. Imagine having to sit and wait for hours. They can't go anywhere, in case they are needed. But if they aren't? Just wait endlessly.

If we count this population as a percentage, it might be substantial. Maybe the ipods (or their local counterparts) are a solace to some of them, if they are interested in music. But I cannot even begin to understand what the rest of them do.

Not So Secret Service

A joke that I had not heard about 9-11 times.

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

I also had a chance to taste the single malt whiskey that India is famous for-yes, it's called Amrut, and it's made in Bangalore. But it is hard to find, apparently. So I am glad I got that item on the bucket list out of the way. It tastes pretty good, incidentally. I would put it in the top ten, after Ardbeg, Laphroaig and Lagavulin- the Islay malts with a peaty, smoky flavour.

Food Poisoning-Humour

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. 

Red meat is awful.  Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.  High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.   But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" 

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand and said,                                         
"Wedding Cake?"

Songs For All Occasions

Bollywood has a unique distinction. Not just that it has songs, but that there is a song for any occasion.

You can think of anything at all, starting from a simple romance with the couple running around trees in Kashmir or Switzerland or Amsterdam (Neele gagan ke tale), to a lady just waiting for her lover to return from work (Na, jiya lage na, from Anand or Kis liye maine pyaar kiya from The Train), to a group of people on a picnic (O Manchali kahaan chali), to a dad bidding goodbye to his daughter after her wedding (Babul ki duaaen leti jaa, ja tujhko sukhi sansaar mile), a dad raising a child (Tujhe suraj kahoon ya chanda, tujhe deep kahoon ya taara)  to a ghost calling her boyfriend from a past life (like in Woh kaun thi, or Bees Saal Baad- kahin deep jale kahin dil), you have a song for every occasion. Creativity must have been at an all-time high among lyricists who had to write for all these situations. Hats off to them.  Aap logon ka jawaab nahin.

Some more situations- song of liberation (Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai), Folk song at a rural party (Chunri sambhal gori udi chali jaaye re), celebration of a festival (Govinda aala re aala), decrying a lost friendship (Dost dost na raha, pyaar pyaar na raha),  club songs (Laila main laila), Lullabies (Nanhi pari sone chali), Kids having fun (Lakdi ki kaathi kaathi pe ghoda, or Re mama re mama re),  cabaret songs (Piya tu ab to aaja), college students having fun (Mannubhai motor chali pump um pum), reflections about life (Zindagi ka safar, Yeh jeevan hai, Zindagi ek safar hai suhana, Zindagi ke safar mein guzar jaate hain jo makaam), the celebration of the present (Aane wala pal, jaanewala hai, ho sake to isme zindagi bita do), teasing (Hamaare siwa tumhaare aur kitne deewaane hain), dance competitons (made famous by Nasir Husain in Hum Kisise Kum Nahin in a series of four songs- Mil gaya, humko saathi mil gaya..etc.).

More categories? Lost and found songs that unite siblings (Yaadon ki baaraat knikli hai aaj dilke dwaare), lovers complaining about lost chances (Hazaar raahen mudke dekhi , kahin se koi sadaa na aai), protagonist describing  the state of his heart (Dil aaj shaayar hai, or Dil kya kare jab kisise kisiko pyaar ho jaaye), kids singing about parents’ romance (Papa ko mummy se, mummy ko papa se pyaar hai), angst (Har koi chaahta hai ek mutthi aasmaan), the wedding song (Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai), the disco song (I am a disco dancer, Hari om hari), the birthday song (Baar baar din yeh aaye, baar baar dil yeh gaye tum jiyo hazaaron saal), mujra (Inhi logon ne, or Jab pyaar kiya to darna kya, or Salaame ishq meri jaan zara qubool karlo),  qawwali (Hum kisise kam nahin),  songs about the river or sea (O maajhi re), the seduction song (Main kya karoon ram mujhe Buddha mil gaya), Bhajan or arti (Om jay jagdeesh hare), teaching each other (Saawan ka mahina, pawan kare sor).

Patriotism (Mere Desh ki dharti, or Nanha munna rahi hoon desh ka sipahi hoon), distracting a crying child (Rona kabhi nahin rona chahe toot jaaye koi khilona), madness  in an asylum(Mere bhains ko danda kyun maara), brooding over lost love (Din dhal jaaye haaye raat na jaaye), enjoying a tonga (horse carriage) ride (many OP Nayyar compositions with hoof-beats in the music),are some more situations that are amenable to songs in Hindi movies. Disguises in the villain’s den are also another common category of songs (Duniya mein, logon ko from Apna Desh, for instance).

Maybe I have missed a few, but you get the point…

Of Censors and Other Ships

Ships come in all sizes. People mistakenly thought that 'size matters' in all matters related to ships, until the Titanic sank. So that was that. But one cannot deny that in the history of mankind, ships have played a major role- losing their way to the Americas and starting the Wal-Mart and McDonald's revolution, so integral to the progress of mankind. Where would we be without consumerism , and burgers? Dosas are just not enough to drive a giga-trillion dollar world economy.

So this is a historic analysis of various ships and their contribution to mankind. On a serious note, before we get hilarious (or delirious), Neil Armstrong died yesterday, the guy whose moonwalk was a giant step for mankind. The Star'ship' Enterprise too, went where no man has gone before (some people joked, like to the women's loo).

Anyway, let's get back to some mundane earthly ships, rather than take starry flights into celestial territory. Ships are of different kinds. The most beneficial are those like censorship- these are ships that stop a thousand launches (reversing the Cleopatra paradigm). You may well ask- how? Well, before you launch your face(book) stuff, you need to clear it from about ten different members of this ship. So, that's creating a new job opportunity for ten very creative and hitherto unemployed people, who will think of new reasons why you should not be twittering or facebooking around. After all, birds are supposed to twitter, not humans of five feet- something height. The number of jobs thus generated would boggle the mind, and the word 'unemployment' would be banished from common usage. Maybe left to discover a new home, in space, on a ship created to cart it out, along with other undesirables.

Well, the other forms of ships may include trusteeship, which is something the Mahatma talked about. But since nobody remembers what it is exactly, we will defer a discussion to a later date. In fact, until Raju Hirani made his second Munnabhai film, we were not sure who the Mahatma was either!

Coming to ships we are more familiar with, we have ownership. This is not a ship at all, but something that establishes that Man A is the owner of a thing B. This is to be strictly avoided, because according to all philosophers across ages, from Confucius (he was actually very clear, not confused at all), to Buddha, it puts you on a trajectory away from self-realisation. So if you want Mukti, Nirvana, or Eternal Bliss, think of taking a voyage on any ship but this one.

More later, as this analysis will take much longer than I thought. I don't want to miss my ship..rather, bus!