Dave Barry- Greatest Hits

Barry has defined a sense of humor as "a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge." His comedy is awesome, and I present a few nuggets from the book Greatest Hits which I am presently reading. ROFL-LMAO humor (I am humouring him with the American spelling of the word).

On making Your Own Beer

Yeast is a wonderful little plant or animal that, despite the fact that it has only one cell, has figured out how to convert sugar to alcohol. This was a far greater accomplishment than anything we can attribute to giant complex multi-celled organisms such as, for example, the Secretary of Transportation.


On Wine

A sommelier is a wine steward, the dignified person who comes up to you at expensive restaurants, hands you the wine list, and says "Excellent choice, sir," when you point to French writing that, translated, says, "Sales Tax Included."

On Wine Snobbery (He is a beer man)

...the slosh-and-sniff approach, where you don't so much DRINK the wine as you frown and then make a thoughtful remark about it as you might make about a job applicant ("I find it ambitious, but somewhat strident.." Or: "It's lucid, yes, but almost Episcopalian in its predictability.").

Laffer Curve (famous in Economics)

What the Laffer curve allegedly showed, when you held it in a certain light, was that if the government reduced everybody's taxes, it would make more money, and the federal budget deficit would go away. I admit that, looking back, this theory sounds even stupider than throwing beverages into Boston Harbour, (the tea party) but, at the time, it had a very strong appeal. 

Yuppies (referring to their ambition from childhood onwards)

What bothers me about the yuppies is, they are destroying the normal social order, which is that people are supposed to start out as wild-eyed radicals, and then gradually, over time, develop gum disease and become conservatives.


2 comments:

Diamond Head said...

The wine remarks are hilarious - personally I did find it strange to know that non living things like Wine have legs and an after taste to boot.

Harimohan said...

I love Dave Barry. How he gets away with that stuff is crazy. New year resolution - read more comedy.

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