This is strictly humour, so put your tongue in your cheek before you go ahead.
There's nothing to it, you just have to look old. If you ARE old, it's not a problem (look at me). If you aren't, you may want to invest in Baldness creams (these may not have been invented, so don't lose your hair over it, just get a wig), Hair-whitening dyes, and so forth. It would be a wise investment. (A corollary-all old people sound like profs. -you'll see why)
Point number 2- You pontificate. And I recommend the Full Ponty (sorry, Monty Python). Don't do it halfway. Unless most of your audience is asleep (but not snoring), you are not counted as a success. It does not matter WHAT you pontificate about, as long as you do. Remember the Nike slogan, and Just Do It! If it's online, the kids have gone to play football after logging in, so it's even easier.
What's the point of all this? That's just the point. You want to become a prof., and now you are there. Ph.D.s and research prowess etc. are over-rated. My way is simpler-far simpler. You will thank me for it, but I may be too busy pontificating, to acknowledge.
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