Naming Rating Agencies

There's a serious problem we have on hand. No, it's not the European meltdown (sounds like a chocolate sauce, does it?), or the American Presidential election of Obama versus Romney, (though this one has the potential to be included in our discussion), or even our own (Presidential election).

We have a REAL problem- and that is, to find out who named the rating agencies who go around rating everything from financial instruments, to countries, and now it seems, even educational institutions. The guys who did it need to be institutionalised- seriously!

I mean, Standard and Poor? What kind of a name is that? If the goal is financial inclusion, either they should rate everybody as 'poor' or everyone as rich, with nothing in between. But couldn't they have found a better name?

Fitch is another one that sounds suspiciously like another word that rhymes with it and is much more popular, particularly in cat-fights. Cats don't talk, except in Murakami novels, so I am referring figuratively to our own species.

Moody's though, is the ultimate among the naming goof-ups. I mean, we are talking serious stuff like a country and its people's future here. Or at least a financial instrument. How the hell can anyone trust a rating from someone who is moody? Your rating would then be expected to yo-yo, based on the mood-swings of these esteemed personalities manning the agency.

God, please give them sense enough to rename themselves. If we can rename our files at will, why can't they? A brand consultant could make millions doing the job, and create a few to save the crashing economies, in the process!


Diamond Head said...

Serious business this -

Must be dealt with a strong hand so may I suggest agency names like -

Hathi Chaap Manjan or
Hathi Mere Sathi (this shows more collegeality whatever that means),

Alternately ratings can be issued by the likes of
'Rati, Agni and HOTri' which conveys some warmth and fire in the name - sort of a velvet glove on a strong hand or some such nonsense?

Harimohan said...

I like that. Wonder why no one looked at that before? Shady as hell (that sounds like a good name for a rating agency too - shady, not hell).

Rajendra said...

All these are smart suggestions, and I will forward them to the Global Ministry of naming. Actually, names of exotic cocktails can also be considered. One of them I had recently was called Highway to hell...or maybe that can be a Rating given to countries that seem headed there!

Saying Goodbye

It is known that we will grace the earth for a limited span. That we have to watch people we know and love and respect go, is known to each...

These Were Liked a Lot